Schizophrenia Discussion Board Forum [2007]

Surveillance and Spying [DRAFT]

by Simon & Oscar

The storm clouds gather After many years at war with myself, the birth of my child pushed me into the abyss of mental illness; I couldn't believe it was happening to me, but my story is all too common Heather Hennigar, Citizen Special Published: Saturday, January 06, 2007 This is the first in a series of four articles by Heather Hennigar on her battles with mental illness. She is is an independent communications/marketing consultant. She has been the "poster girl" for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre Capital Campaign for two years. She also sits on the board of directors for the hospital's foundation. She is divorced and has one child, Katie, who is six years old. She can be reached at hhbella@hotmail.com My name is Heather. I have battled postpartum depression, major depressive disorder, bulimia, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. You might know me, but, more likely, you don't. However, you probably know someone like me. It might be you, a family member, a loved one or perhaps a co-worker. One in five of us will experience a mental illness in our lifetime. Take a look around you right now, and chances are someone you see is suffering in silence because he or she is afraid or unwilling to seek treatment for fear of being judged and stigmatized. I remember the first time I felt depressed. I was 17. We all know the teenage years can be challenging, but throwing a deep depression on top of it -- not really knowing what was wrong -- was horrific. Many times I felt as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. It was at this time that I had my first suicidal thoughts as well. What I certainly didn't know then was that this would officially mark the beginning of almost 17 more years of severe ups and downs. I was at war with my myself. In September 2000, I gave birth to my daughter and my problems all came to a head. Even though I felt depressed during my pregnancy, I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. I thought it would get better after I had my baby. It didn't. In fact, things got much, much worse. Within a few days of giving birth, I went to see my doctor. I was a mess. I hadn't slept or eaten for a few days. I remember him giving me a light sedative and telling me to come back in a couple of days if I wasn't feeling any better. I was back the next day. It was at this appointment that I heard the words that would forever change my existence. He said, "You need to see a psychiatrist." I thought, "No way, I am not crazy." But because I felt so hopeless and lost, I agreed to the referral. I had an appointment at the hospital within days. I was instructed to arrive at the admitting desk to be set up as an out-patient. I will always remember the way the admitting clerk looked at me. It was as if I could read her mind, and she was saying that I looked so "normal." In my opinion, today there is no such thing. Mental illness does not discriminate -- it can happen to anyone. She gave me directions to the psychiatric ward. I was terrified. I thought that there would be some "crazy" person who might harm me. I sat down beside a gentleman who was talking to himself, and wondered, "Was I just like him?" The answer, I would find out, was yes. I didn't wait too long before a doctor came out and called me in. I simply couldn't believe I was there. Never in my life could I have imagined that I would be diagnosed with a mental illness. It was surreal. She asked me a number of questions and very quickly diagnosed me with postpartum depression. For the next four years I faced very frequent, obsessive suicidal thoughts, sometimes lasting for weeks. The doctor informed me that I would have to start a combination of medications: antidepressants, a sleeping pill, and an anti-anxiety drug. For someone who had only ever been on penicillin and birth-control pills, this was overwhelming. She also indicated that she would need to "ramp" me up on the medications as fast as my body could handle it. As scary as it may sound, I really hoped the medications would cause me to overdose and die. This new schedule of taking medications and seeing a doctor about every three days (to monitor my progress) went on for about six weeks. Then, just several weeks after my daughter was born, I was admitted to the psychiatric ward. This would be the first of nine admissions, each one lasting about three weeks. The first hospitalization was a life-altering experience. I arrived and was met by two nurses who took me into a little room to ask me a few questions: name, age, did I have anything sharp in my bag -- such as razors? They confiscated those along with some nail clippers and told me they would keep them at the front desk. I remember feeling violated, but I had been hospitalized because I was going to kill myself. I thank God every day that I had the courage to be admitted. If I hadn't done it, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be writing this today. Next Week: In the hospital © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

I needed to be in hospital, but I'd do anything to get out Heather Hennigar, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, January 13, 2007 This is the second in a series of four articles by Heather Hennigar on her battles with mental illness. She is is an independent communications/marketing consultant. She has been the "poster girl" for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre Capital Campaign for two years. She also sits on the board of directors for the hospital's foundation. She is divorced and has one child, Katie, who is six years old. She can be reached at hhbella@hotmail.com. I remember clearly how I felt being hospitalized for the first time. As much as I knew I needed to be there, it became more a game of how I could get myself out -- and the faster the better. When asked by the nursing staff how I was doing, I would reply that I was really OK. "Oh, I'm fine, really. I feel so much better." I was lying to them, and to myself. I was scared to be in that place. I wanted out. I came to the abrupt conclusion that I never wanted to see the inside of those four walls again. So I complied each and every day with the scheduled programs -- one-on-one psychotherapy, and group therapy on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. After the first few days I became numb to the surroundings ... the screams in the middle of the night, patients who did not want to take medication, and everyone asking me why I was in. One patient said to me that I looked too "normal" to be in. After about two weeks I started asking when I could go home. When my doctor said it would be another week or so, I was devastated. As if I needed another thing to bring me down. The week came fairly quickly, however, and when I was told I could leave, I remember thinking to myself, "I am never coming back here." Little did I know that I would be back eight more times over the next three years. A total of nine hospitalizations -- eight elective and one unelective. For the next several months I simply did the basic things to exist: I got up when my new daughter, Katie, needed me. I manufactured smiles for people I had to engage with, and I took my pills. Eating, trying to get quality sleep, showering and even brushing my teeth were optional. I regularly turned the phone ringer off to avoid having to pretend that everything was OK to the many people calling to check in on me. The facade wore me down. As a result I was back in hospital within a couple of months. I just couldn't promise that I wasn't going to harm myself. I also desperately wanted to be fixed. Throughout, one of the toughest things to battle was the medication. It was hugely frustrating to be on so many different drugs -- all in an attempt to find the "magic pill," or in my case "pills," that would make me better. To my minimal recollection I was on Zoloft, Effexor, Trazodone, Ativan, Lithium, Immovane, Clomipramine, benzodiazepines, Paxil and Seroquel: those are the ones I remember ... I know there are more. I remember one sleeping pill in particular that was so powerful I was asleep within 20 minutes. Although it left a horrific metallic taste in my mouth the next day, it was heaven to get some sleep. It is hard for me to recount this, but I made a conscious choice from Day 1 of treatment to keep all the leftover pills. I kept them because if things came to it, I would have enough pills to overdose on. Nobody ever knew. Until now. At the same time, because I was so emotionally out of control, my built-in tendencies to bulimia and obsessive compulsive behaviour went into overdrive ... for a long time. These two terrible illnesses granted me a control that was absolutely addictive and euphoric. For days on end, I would not sit down. For several hours straight I would vacuum, dust, and scrub the floors -- most of the time on my hands and knees with a toothbrush. I would make and then unmake the beds, just so I could keep on working. The distraction was what I craved, and it is what kept me going. Same with the bulimia. I never purged large amounts of food. I would eat small amounts -- even a bowl of cereal, and then vomit. It got so I was doing this five to seven times a day, seven days a week. I got really good at hiding it, obviously. After being home with my daughter for eight months, I decided it was time to return to work. I thought of "work" now as my escape. I would be able to return to my "old world." I really thought that by going back to work, I would be able to bounce back to my "old self." Boy was I wrong. ... Things were only about to get worse. Next week: The struggle on the homefront © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

The years at the bottom of the pit Heather Hennigar, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, January 20, 2007 This is the third in a series of four articles by Heather Hennigar on her battles with mental illness. She is is an independent communications/marketing consultant. She has been the "poster girl" for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre Capital Campaign for two years. She also sits on the board of directors for the hospital's foundation. She is divorced and has one child, Katie, who is six years old. She can be reached at hhbella@hotmail.com. My daughter was eight months old when I returned to work. It was May 2001. When I made the decision to return, I really thought it was the best thing for me. It was around that time that Andrea Yates of Houston drowned her five children. I remember being able to understand, to some degree, why she did it. I felt her pain in many ways. When I got to the office that day, I was greeted by colleagues who were happy to see me. I couldn't wait to dive back into my old routine. I was working in sales and marketing, and really did enjoy my work. Well, I enjoyed it before I left. I was the kind of person to thrive on pressure, the conquest of making the sale and being "the best." In time, those last two words would forever change who I was, and what I was about to become. For as long as I can remember -- even when I was a child -- I have been a perfectionist. Because of my illness, work became my obsession. As my doctors put it, my work was my "identity." If I did well, I thrived. If I didn't perform to my expectations, I crumbled -- emotionally, mentally and physically. I secretly told a few people about my diagnosis, and they were shocked. Many did not know what to say. Even more, they did not understand. Things started getting tough when I started missing my sales targets. I had been with the company for two years and had always been successful, and consistent. In fact, before I had my daughter, I had not taken more than a few sick days. Now the pressure was mounting and every day was a struggle. I felt as if I couldn't show my face if I wasn't the best. After less than a year, I couldn't take it any longer. In February 2002, I was admitted to hospital -- again -- and my doctor recommended time away from work to "get back on my feet." I did it because I was no longer able to handle anything. But if I thought my work issues were challenging, nothing compared with the time I decided to go off my medication. I didn't tell my doctor right away. I waited about two weeks. I simply informed her I went off them, and could handle it. She definitely did not agree with that. Shortly after, I stopped seeing her, too. I can't remember how long it was before I was begging her to see me again. This was definitely rock-bottom. She hesitantly agreed. I promised to comply with the medication and anything I had to do to get better. At this time in my life, it was like I was at the bottom of a deep pit. No light, no hope and nobody could rescue me. I sank to the bottom of that pit and stayed there until September 2004. From the moment I was diagnosed and until that September, I did not have a single day where I felt good. I was very, very ill. In all, here are the dates I was hospitalized (according to my journals): November 2000; February 2001; February 2002; February 2003; May 2003; September 2003; February 2004; August 2004; and September 2004. The nursing staff got to know me well. I imagined them thinking for every time I walked down that long hall with my suitcase. "Here she comes again." The years 2003 and 2004 would be when things all came to a head. I was off work completely, spending my days in my pyjamas, in my bed. I became the prisoner of my broken mind. For a couple of weeks in the summer of 2003, I began taking excessive amounts of Gravol in an attempt to overdose and just "go" in my sleep. After two weeks I was up to 20-25 Gravol tablets -- I think. All it did was make me very sick to my stomach. It was awful, and I was frustrated. But that got me thinking about my "final" plan. I knew what I was going to do, and Aug. 29, 2004, happened to be that day. Next Week: Attempted suicide and beyond © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

Choosing life Heather Hennigar, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, January 27, 2007 This is the last in a series of four articles by Heather Hennigar on her battles with mental illness. She is an independent communications/marketing consultant. She has been the "poster girl" for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre Capital Campaign for two years. She also sits on the board of directors for the hospital's foundation. She can be reached at hhbella@hotmail.com. As much as I would like to describe the exact circumstances surrounding my attempted suicide by overdose on the night of Aug. 28, 2004, some details are too painful to share. In addition, I respect the privacy of one particular individual who was present when this happened. What I can tell you is that I got quite drunk, and there was an argument. I stumbled home, and immediately went to my stash of unused medications. There was not even a moment of hesitation. I grabbed a handful of the most potent drugs and a bottle of Bailey's. Just before I ingested the potent cocktail, I grabbed a piece of paper from my journal, a pen and I wrote my suicide note. I still have the note I wrote that night. I guess it serves to remind me that I survived. It reads: "I don't care anymore. When you find me I'll be gone. Please say good-bye to everyone. I love you Katie. Bye Mum." Katie is my six-year-old daughter. The next 36 hours or so are a blur. I have no memory of the ambulance coming or the police cars that assisted the call. And I definitely don't remember having a grand mal seizure because of the overdose. I remember only two moments: being forced to ingest charcoal (to help bind the drugs in my system) and being wheeled down to the psychiatric ward for the eighth time. As ill as I was from the overdose, I vowed -- as I was rolling down the hall -- that this would be the last time I saw these dark walls. I can't remember how many days I was in this time. But when I got home, I felt sad that my overdose had not worked. I had no hope for the future, and wished so badly that I wasn't alive. The thought of having to deal with everything in the aftermath was almost more than I could handle, emotionally. So to combat the overwhelming temptation I had of committing suicide again, I called one of my best friends and said, "I have to go back -- now." I stayed in the ward for another week or so. I came to the conclusion, with the insightful help of my doctor, that I had only one stark choice left: Choose to live or choose to die. I chose life even knowing that my personal battle to get better would end up being the most difficult thing I would ever face. Today I am a completely different person. I am the happiest I have ever been. I cherish every day. I have become more patient and empathetic and I realize now that suicide is a selfish act. My daughter is my hero. I also would never, ever have gotten through this without my then-husband, Jamie. We ultimately divorced, but are still very close. He, too, is a hero. I simply can't imagine what it is like to live with someone who suffers from mental illness. It must be one of the most difficult challenges one can go through. Thank you, Jamie. I would like to also thank my best friends: Susan, Judy, Mia, and Chrystal for never giving up on me, accepting me for who I am, and encouraging me to follow my passion. Your sister-like connection to me is appreciated much more than you know. Today, you might recognize me as the "poster girl" for the new Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre. Or perhaps you recognize me from a public service announcement that ran on the local CTV station for several months. But what is more likely is that you don't know who I am. But I bet you know someone like me. Reach out to them today. Give them a hug, and the hope that things can get better. Life, as I know too well, is too short. To make a donation to the hospital I proudly represent, please go to youknowwhoiam.com. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

The 1-week trip to Moscow, Russia, from 2007-01-01 to 2007-01-08 was very exciting, to say the least. As for meeting Ella for compatibility check, it was a catastrophe/disaster/fiasco!

I left Ottawa, ON, on New Year's Day. The airplane from Toronto, ON, to Frankfurt, Germany had a mechanical problem, so it was delayed by 1 hour in Toronto. Since I had only 1 hour to switch in Frankfurt, I was really worried. I slept for only 2 hours.

Luckily, the flight went well, so I did not miss the connecting flight to Moscow, Russia. At the Moscow Airport, the Customs and Immigration went smoothly, and my heart was pumping in anticipation. Ella was indeed waiting for me at the airport, and I was very happy. She was nice, and we went straight to the apartment via a bus and metro trains. The apartment was being cleaned when we arrived there. Ella took care of it, and I made a payment.

As you may have noticed, I am very bad at emotional issues, especially with women. Although I liked what I saw, I believe that Ella noticed that we are not compatible in terms of personality. Upon reflection, I feel the same way. She is extravert, leading active and dynamic life, while I am the opposite. I think that complementary personalities are fine, but she obviously did not feel that I am worth while.

When the woman's profile says that her English is "Basic", it is likely that her English is almost non-existent. There was an Internet connection at the apartment, so we used Google Translate to communicate. However, the language barrier was just too much.

After Ella abruptly left, I was at a loss because I had 4 more days. Before leaving Canada, I had made contact with 2 more women in Moscow, i.e., a historian and a doctor. I had an MSN chat session with the historian while I was in Canada. After only an hour or so, she told me that there is no chemistry, and she dumped me. I could not chat with the doctor, so I telephoned her in Moscow after Ella left.

I am glad that I had made the contingency plan. Although it was very difficult to communicate, I made an arrangement to meet the doctor. Galya was extremely nice, and we had a great time at the restaurant. She had to work the next 2 days, but we met again on Sunday to visit church for Russian Christmas. She had a car, so she drove me around.

The weather in Moscow was very mild, just like in Canada. The temperature was like +5 C to +10 C. It rained a lot, but I did not bring an umbrella.

The indication by all the correspondence was that there would be only a small chance that Ella would be incompatible with me, but it turned out that we are not compatible at all. I did not know until late in the process that she had her translator friend translate all her letters to English. Here is Ella's profile.

• http://www.elenasmodels.com/index.php?ap=7371358

On the other hand, Galya is very compatible with me, and we are keeping in touch very often. Since she cannot leave Russia for now, I do not know what will happen, but I have great hope. Here is Galya's profile.

• http://www.elenasmodels.com/index.php?ap=9404815

So, that is the story of my memorable trip to Russia. The lesson is that one cannot judge women/men from their profiles. :-(

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Simon

After reading Heather Hennigar's 4-part story about her depression, I sent her an E-mail message to share the sad story of my tragedy. I appreciated the fact that she understands my ordeal, and that I understand hers. She offered me to keep in touch in order to support each other.

I mentioned to Heather Hennigar that I met a German widow in Skype early last year. After a few chat sessions, the German widow told me that she was grieving because her late husband committed suicide. She disclosed to me that her husband was under suspicion that Stasi (the ex-East German secret police) was after him. I explained to her that such paranoid delusions are due to mental illness. In fact, she had no idea at all that there was biochemical imbalance in his brain. We have been supporting each other, but the odds of encountering a total stranger with identical mental health issue is astronomical. Or paranoid delusions may not be so rare after all...

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Simon

'Solid insight into illness' helped Arenburg in his bid for freedom James Gordon, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Wednesday, January 31, 2007 The Ontario Review Board yesterday released its rationale for granting an absolute discharge to the man who shot and killed former CJOH sportscaster Brian Smith, arguing there is no evidence of a significant threat to the public. The board argued Jeffrey Arenburg has taken his medication faithfully over the past nine years and hasn't displayed any aggression or psychotic episodes. "The evidence is that he has solid, credible and genuine insight into his illness and into the fact that he will require medication the rest of his life," the review board noted, adding the illness wasn't properly treated early on. Mr. Arenburg, a paranoid schizophrenic, shot Mr. Smith with a .22 calibre rifle in the CJOH parking lot in 1995. Two years later, he was found not criminally responsible for the act due to a mental disorder. Mr. Arenburg was granted the absolute discharge in November, though the reasons for the decision were withheld until yesterday. He is living in Barrie, Ont., with his brother. At the time of the review board report, he was volunteering two days a week for the Canadian Red Cross. Mr. Smith's widow, Alana Kainz, said yesterday she hoped the Ontario government would appeal the decision. She added officials told her they were awaiting the report before making any decisions. "An appeal would bring him back in at some point, and we could see how he really is doing out in the world alone," she said. She pointed to one test (also contained in yesterday's report) that suggested there was a 24-per-cent chance Mr. Arenburg would offend again. "You know, that's a high number," she said. "That's a one in four chance." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Sometimes, I feel so lonely...

My depression is "officially cured" since my psychiatrist stopped prescribing anti-depressant medication last June. I am in cheerful mood with my kids most of the time when they are here (1/2 time). Even so, I still experience some periods of immense sadness due to the sudden breakup of the happy family because of my ex-wife's unilateral separation, and especially to the revelation of stigma towards mental illness manifesting itself as unexpected hostility by my ex-in-laws, leading to my suicide attempt, etc.

My 17-year old son and my 16-year old daughter both watched "The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)". The film is based on a real story. Hearing from them that the story has a happy ending after many years struggles with pain and suffering, I feel that I may have a chance to achieve happiness eventually...

Now that Galya may join me in Canada, I started to investigate how foreign credentials are recognised so that she can practice medicine here in Canada as a medical doctor.

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Simon

That which makes us clever, make us mad Mark Henderson, Science Editor From The Times February 09, 2007 One of the most devastating types of mental illness could be a by-product of the evolution of human beings' uniquely sophisticated intelligence, a new genetic study has suggested. Scientists have discovered that a common version of a particular gene appears both to enhance a key thinking circuit in the brain, and to be linked to a raised risk of schizophrenia. The findings, from a study by the US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), provide fresh evidence for the theory that schizophrenia is the price that some people pay for our species's peculiarly advanced intellectual abilities. The research hints that some of the genetic factors that underpin the human brain's cognitive capacities can also go wrong to leave a sizeable minority prone to mental illness. In the study, the NIMH team examined a common variant of a gene called DARPP-32. Three quarters of the subjects studied had inherited at least one copy of the variant. This common version of the gene appears to make the brain's most sophisticated thinking region more efficient, the researchers found. It improves the way that information is exchanged between the striatum, a brain region that processes reward, and the prefrontal cortex, the brain's executive hub that manages thoughts and actions. When this circuit works efficiently, the normal outcome is more flexible thinking and improved working memory. As a result, genes such as DARPP-32 that enhance it have probably been favoured by evolution. The same circuit, however, has also been linked to brain functions that go wrong in patients with schizophrenia. An investigation of 257 families with a history of the condition showed that the improving version of DARPP-32 was more common among people who had developed the mental illness. Daniel Weinberger, of NIMH, said it was possible that while a more efficient link between the prefrontal cortex and striatum normally improves cognitive ability, it may have a negative effect when other genetic and environmental factors interfere. The result could be a predisposition to schizophrenia, which is known to be caused by a combination of genes and a person's environment. "Our results raise the question of whether a gene variant favoured by evolution, that would normally confer advantage, may translate into a disadvantage if the prefrontal cortex is impaired, as in schizophrenia," Dr Weinberger said. "Normally, enhanced cortex connectivity with the striatum would provide increased flexibility, working memory capacity and executive control. But if other genes and environmental events conspire to render the cortex incapable of handling such information, it could backfire - resulting in the neural equivalent of a superhighway to a dead end." Andreas Meyer-Lindenberg, another member of the team, said: "We have found that DARPP-32 shapes and controls a circuit coursing between the human striatum and prefrontal cortex that affects key brain functions implicated in schizophrenia, such as motivation, working memory and reward related learning." Details of the study are published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation. Previous research, notably by Paul Greengard, of Rockefeller University, a Nobel laureate, has established that DARPP-32 acts in the striatum to route information to the brain's cortex for processing. It operates through the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is thought to be overactive in people with schizophrenia. The new work, to which Dr Greengard contributed, is the first study to show a direct link between the gene and more efficient brain circuity, and possibly to schizophrenia as well. "Although groups have looked for possible clinical relevance of DARPP-32, they have not met with great success. This study shows a strong connection between this molecule and human cognition - and perhaps with schizophrenia." Troubled minds John Nash Mathematical genius whose 30-year battle against mental illness ended in triumph when he was awarded the 1994 Nobel Prize in economics. His life was recreated in the 2001 film A Beautiful Mind Syd Barrett Enigmatic founder of Pink Floyd developed schizophrenia as the psychedelic band's popularity took off Jack Kerouac The Beat Generation's most famous member was given a diagnosis of "dementia praecox", an archaic term for schizophrenia, after enlisting in the Navy Vaslav Nijinsky The Russian ballet dancer moved in and out of mental sanitoriums from 1919 until his death in 1950 Source www.schizophrenia.com

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Simon

I sent a message to psychiatrist Dr. Keith Anderson, the author of book "On Your Own Again". Although I have not read the book, the review on the Ottawa Citizen had no mention of mental illness (especially the borderline paranoid schizophrenia or delusional disorder). I wanted to enlighten him about so many sad stories on Schizophrenia Discussion Board Forum due to spouses's paranoid delusions.

It's not me, it's you Many couples split up because men and women reach relationship maturity at different times Dr. Keith Anderson has updated his 1992 book, On Your Own Again, to help people through the early stages of separation and divorce. Rose Simpson, Citizen Special Published: Saturday, February 10, 2007 An Ottawa psychiatrist has just confirmed what many women have suspected for years: When it comes to relationships, men are "retarded." Women mature faster, which can lead to trouble in relationships, says Dr. Keith Anderson, who has spent more than 25 years counselling individuals suffering through the pain and uncertainty of separation and divorce. "That's my way of saying that, just as six-year-old girls are ahead of six-year old boys in terms of verbal, social and academic development, wives tend to be ahead of their husbands in reaching the next stage of adult development," says Anderson, in the update of his 1992 classic, On Your Own Again. (McClelland & Stewart, $19.99) "Of course, their husbands do catch up eventually -- although sometimes it's too late." When many people pair up, they are still emotional adolescents, who base their relationships on "I'll take care of you, you take care of me." By the time they reach their early 30s, many women want more from their relationships and feel dissatisfied with their lives. How women respond to these changing needs differs, says Anderson. One may decide to be an even better "little girl" by being Supermom with a demanding career and a houseful of kids. Another might become a "bad girl" by having an affair, or simply breaking the rules of the relationship by refusing to keep house. By acting out, a woman still won't have her needs met "because she hasn't recognized they've changed," he says. "Meeting her needs doesn't depend on the approval or disapproval of her partner -- it depends only on herself." Men take longer to reach this stage. "Being retarded, they haven't twigged to this yet. They carry on the same old way, operating on the basis of the old needs, the old relationship pact. They can't help it." A man can take years to catch up and "eventually recognizes that there's something missing in his life." Sometimes, what's missing is his spouse. Differences in relationship maturity often lead to separation, a time of excruciating pain for all involved. Anderson says he wrote On Your Own Again to support men and women going through the early stages of separation and divorce and help them understand the reasons why their relationships have ended. The book is based on his experience as a psychiatrist as well as lessons learned from his own painful divorce. The book, written with Ottawa writer Roy MacSkimming, is folksy and practical, and contains stories from a composite of his "Generation Ex" patients -- both straight and gay. He says people can expect to go through a number of stages when they separate. In the hurting stage, which takes place during the first three months or so, a person has to learn to just survive their pain and loneliness on a day-to-day basis. Eventually, they begin to explore the new world and their options, they learn who they are and finally begin to get comfortable with their new marital status. The book looks at all the rough edges: dealing with your ex-spouse and children; managing a household on your own; getting back on the dating hamster wheel; and re-connecting. It also guides the reader through the common pitfalls of the newly separated, including substance abuse, getting together with someone on the rebound, shutting out the world completely, living for the children and what he calls "being true to you in my fashion" -- basically acting as if you're still married. The book has been revised and updated to include new dating reality for all genders. "Very little has changed since I first wrote the book," Anderson said in an interview. "The dynamic of relationships doesn't change. What has changed is how people are dating. A lot of my patients use the Internet." Anderson says while younger patients have no problem looking for love in cyberspace, older patients can be more reluctant to embrace new technology. He says he thinks the Internet is an excellent way to meet people, particularly for those who've been out of the dating scene for a while. But it lets people hide behind a screen, forestalling the start of a face-to-face relationship. "The Internet can help people to connect," he says, "but for others, it can also act as a shield when they want human contact, but not physical contact." Rose Simpson is an Ottawa writer. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Mental illness a career-killer, study finds Afflicted find little sympathy in workplace; fear losing jobs Shannon Proudfoot, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Thursday, February 15, 2007 The stigma of mental illness may be abating, but a new Ipsos Reid public opinion study on depression in the workplace suggests the disease's career ramifications are still a concern. The survey, released today, indicates 14 per cent of Canadian adults have been diagnosed with depression by a doctor, with a higher incidence in women (18 per cent) than men (11 per cent). Nearly three-quarters of those surveyed (72 per cent) know someone who has been diagnosed with depression. Eight in 10 Canadians said they believe depression is a "life-threatening illness," while just 24 per cent think depressed people could "just snap out of it if they really wanted to." Seventy-nine per cent of workers said they believe a person diagnosed with depression would keep the fact secret to avoid damaging their future opportunities at work, and nearly half believe someone missing work because of depression would be more likely "to get into trouble and maybe even fired." They're often right, says Donna Hardaker, community mental health analyst at the Ontario chapter of the Canadian Mental Health Association and co-founder of its Mental Health Works program. Workplaces are still "in the Dark Ages" in terms of dealing with depression, she says, and the slippery nature of mental illness only adds to the challenge. "When someone has depression, the symptoms co-workers see are behavioural," Ms. Hardaker says. "They don't see someone who needs to lie down, they don't see someone who has to go for chemotherapy treatment. Instead, they see someone who may be irritable, withdrawn, not meeting deadlines, blaming people for problems." Despite the challenges of recognizing and understanding the disease, the poll suggested a vast majority of Canadians (88 per cent) believe CEOs should make helping employees with depression "a key human resources priority." Mental illness costs Canadian businesses $33 billion a year in lost productivity, says the Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Addiction and Mental Health. The workplace is an ideal environment in which to identify the early signs of depression, Ms. Hardaker says. Business tends to be performance-oriented and filled with benchmarks and deadlines that act as red flags when they're not met. In contrast, people's personal lives are complex, so it can be harder to notice when there's a problem, she says. The poll results are promising, in her view, because they show the public is starting to recognize the seriousness of depression and the necessity of accommodating it in the workplace like any other disease. However, Ms. Hardaker says there is still a long way to go in educating employers about mental illness and the best ways to help employees cope. "I see managers who really want to do the right thing and they're afraid of doing the wrong thing, so many times they don't do anything at all," she says. The Ipsos Reid study was conducted across the United States and Canada, with 1,000 adult Canadians and 1,000 Americans participating. The poll results are considered accurate within 3.1 percentage points, 19 times out of 20. The poll is being released today at the U.S.-Canada Forum on Mental Health in Washington. To view a video report on the study about depresssion, go to Today's Videos at ottawacitizen.com © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

I watched "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)" on TV. The movie is about life in a mental institution.

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Simon

The Schizophrenia Society of Canada Discussion Board is unavailable at this time. We are currently conducting a review of the Discussion Board to evaluate its function and performance as a valuable and appropriate forum for discussion of issues related to schizophrenia. To accomplish this, we will be assessing all facets of the Discussion Board, its forums, structure, management and operation. If you have been a regular user/reader of this Discussion Board and would like to offer your thoughts, suggestions or general opinions on the Discussion Board, please send your comments to: info@schizophrenia.ca Thank you.

Please note that I found the Schizophrenia Society of Canada Discussion Board Forum extremely helpful in finding support while I was at a complete loss due to paranoid delusions of my spouse. There was no logic in her unilateral separation, and reasoning with her was completely useless.

I found through the Schizophrenia Society of Canada Discussion Board Forum that I was not alone, and that there are many people who have been affected by their spouses's schizophrenia.

I was devastated by the unwanted broken family, and I was desperate. I sought medical help myself for depression, and I started to take anti-depressants. Discussion in the Schizophrenia Society of Canada Discussion Board Forum greatly contributed to my recovery.

Members of the Schizophrenia Society of Canada Discussion Board Forum gave me not only encouragement to proceed with the legal process, but also inspiration to survive, in light of my suicide attempt 2005-11-05.

Therefore, it was a question of life and death for me!

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Simon

I received a telephone call from an auditor from Revenu Québec, denying my claim for legal fees that I incurred in trying to get my ex-wife to have a psychiatric evaluation. According to Revenu Québec, only legal fees to gain support payments qualify. So, all my efforts with more than ten thousand dollars to save the happy family and to give medical care to my ex-wife are not even tax deductible. :-(

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Simon

Fighting - and beating - mental illness Margaret Trudeau, three others honoured for courage in coping with mental illness Tony Lofaro, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Thursday, March 08, 2007 By finally speaking out about her struggles with mental illness, Margaret Trudeau sought to end a 30-year "roller-coaster" ride with the disease while trying to offer hope to others facing similar demons. "I wanted a sense of social responsibility and a feeling that I could help others," Ms. Trudeau said this week in reference to her public admission last year that she had bipolar depression. Ms. Trudeau, who is being honoured tonight for inspiring others to better cope with the disease, said she particularly wanted to help people who "feel so hopeless they consider suicide because they don't think there's any way they're going to get off the (bipolar) roller-coaster." "You can get off it, there is good treatment and medical science has come a long way in the last 10 or 15 years to create drugs and therapies that really help you to achieve balance." The 58-year-old former wife of prime minister Pierre Trudeau has said that she sought help for her depression only after the tragic death of her youngest son, Michel, in 1998, and the death of her husband two years later. Ms. Trudeau will be among four recipients of the 2007 Inspiration Awards at the Royal Ottawa Foundation for Mental Health gala tonight at the Congress Centre. The awards recognize people who have overcome adversity to advance mental-health reform, help deliver services to patients and families, and strive to reduce the stigma of mental illness. Ms. Trudeau said she had lived "without hope" and with an "emptiness" for a long time, as low self-esteem and lack of motivation contributed to her depression. The journey back to a more stable life was difficult, but she was helped by strong family support and an understanding of the troubles she was experiencing. "I think it's very bewildering for families who are living with someone who is suffering from a mental illness," she said. "All I can suggest is that they have to get as much education as they can so that they have an understanding of the disease. It's out of compassion that you get support." The other award recipients are: Heather Hennigar, 36, a communications-marketing consultant and a "poster girl" for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre's Capital Campaign; Gerry McGee, 76, a former engineer and co-founder of the Mood Disorders Ottawa Support Group; and Jackie Schroeder, 54, a former registered nurse who talks to high school students about living with mental illness. Ms. Trudeau said that some families unfortunately still worry about the stigma of mental illness and refuse to deal with solving the problem, causing the sufferers to struggle with the disease alone. She said her own family was great in "helping me and loving me no matter what" and assisted with getting her on the proper medication. "The most important thing is for the individual who suffers to accept that they have a problem, then the solutions start appearing," said Ms. Trudeau. She said mental illness is a "frightening disease" and not as easy to accept as a broken arm or other physical ailments. She said fixing a "broken mind" often requires more time and a certain level of maturity on the part of the mental health sufferer. "You need to comply with drug regimens, which are often difficult, and sometimes the side-effects are not pleasant and you have to change your lifestyle. You have to make choices that will lead you to sanity rather than to being off-balance." She raises awareness about mental-health issues by speaking across the country, mostly to Canadian Mental Health Association gatherings, women's groups and drug companies. She is also active with WaterCan, a Canadian charity that helps poor people get safe, clean water. She said public speaking and her work with WaterCan has given a "purpose" to her life and she feels that being a productive person is the antidote for many people suffering from the disease. For other mental-health suffers, the road to recovery is often long and difficult. "I'm better than ever," Heather Hennigar said when was asked about her own recovery. Almost three years ago, Ms. Hennigar attempted suicide by ingesting a potent mix of medications and alcohol. She had even written a suicide note to her daughter. The note read: "I don't care anymore. When you find me I'll be gone. Please say good-bye to everyone. I love you Katie. Bye Mum." She said she had no recollection of what happened, but she was rushed to hospital and then transferred to the psychiatric ward, the eighth time she had been admitted to the Royal Ottawa Hospital, as the institution was then called. "I was told by my doctor that I was getting to a point where there was not much more they could do for me. I had to make a choice if I wanted to live or die." Ms. Hennigar chose life, relying on the advice of her doctor and nursing staff, and the support of family and friends to try and carry on with a more productive life. She said it was a tough decision, but three years later, with the help of medication, she says she's never been happier. "It's in the way I deal with things now. When I'm faced with a challenge -- and believe me I've had many this year -- the new mindset I have is that this is a temporary situation and it's not going take (me) out. I will never take for granted the power of positive thinking." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

My ex-wife took the kids to the dentist's appointment. She was always suspecting that the dentist calls the police each time my ex-wife arrives at her office.

As for me, I have not seen the dentist for 2 years since my ex-wife cut me off from the dental insurance coverage.

The kids went to furniture stores with my ex-wife because she has bought a house and is moving in in 2007-05. I felt so sad for myself.

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Simon

I read the following in the newspaper, and thought about my 16-year old daughter who is very messy.

ADDing up a company's assets ADD/ADHD workers can contribute much in their own way, expert says BY STEPHANIE WHITTKER ... For the record, ADD/ADHD is a complex neurological disorder that affects the brain's hardwiring. "ADHDers' brains are different," Ms. Walker says. "ADHD has no effect on intellect but ADHDers have a sense of internal agitation. They hear and feel all stimuli and have a hard time inhibiting those stimuli." That's why they're easily distractable, she said. In fact, they display a constellation of characteristics. "They procrastinate," Ms. Walker says. "They start projects without finishing them. They have difficulty with time management so they're often late. They have difficulty starting tasks that don't interest them because the brain cannot ignite. It's not because they won't; it's because they can't. They're also impatient and want to get things done quickly." Because their brains are unable to tune out extraneous stimuli, it's often difficult to focus on a single task, she says. Another key characteristic of ADD/ADHD is a lack of impulse restraint. ... In fact, successful ADHDers throughout history have done just that, she says. They are thought to include Leonardo da Vinci, Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison, to name a few. © The Montreal Gazette 2007

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Simon

STIGMA OF ILLNESS PREVENTS PARENTS FROM SEEKING HELP DEAR ABBY: Your reply to "Worried Aunt in Florida" (Feb. 9), whose nephew suffers from OCD, hit the nail on the head. Often parents don't want their children's psychotic behaviors made public by seeking help. Nothing could be so wrong! I know because a close family member, who for years required counseling and analysis, was ignored by her parents so they could avoid the stigma of having a "crazy" child. The result? A failed suicide attempt, resulting in permanent physical impairment and significant deterioration in the mental state of that child. It's my belief that every so-called "odd behavior" is a warning signal and should be addressed before things get out of hand. -- STEVE IN ONTARIO, CANADA DEAR STEVE: I agree that parents need to be vigilant and proactive in protecting their children, and not hide their heads in the sand pretending that problems don't exist. I heard from a number of health care professionals who were also concerned about the young man in the letter. Read on: DEAR ABBY: In the health care world, there are such things as "emancipated conditions." These are certain health conditions that can be treated in minors without parental consent or knowledge. (In some states the child can be 12 or older; in others, 14 or older.) In the state of Florida, this law applies. If "Vincent" is concerned about his obsessive-compulsive disorder and his parents refuse to acknowledge the problem, he may seek treatment without them. The local health department in that boy's county can provide information on clinics that provide these services. Minors do have a choice regarding their health care when it comes to emancipated conditions. -- CERTIFIED PEDIATRIC NURSE PRACTITIONER IN INDIANA

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Simon

Woman's diary of mental illness is latest blog on ottawacitizen.com The Ottawa Citizen Published: Monday, April 02, 2007 Heather Hennigar, who shared her battle with mental illness in a four-part Citizen series in January, is launching a blog today on the newspaper's website. In "Diary of Depression," Ms. Hennigar chronicled her four years of struggling with several mental illnesses and how she became the "poster girl" for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre. Following her desire to banish the stigma associated with mental illness, Ms. Hennigar will continue to share her experiences in the hope that someone will be inspired to seek treatment, or realize that being diagnosed with a mental illness is OK. Her courage to come forward came after the support from several very important friends, as well as her father, but most of all her desire to "give back." "Enough is enough," she says. "People have to realize that mental illness is real and that you can live a happy, successful and positive life with it. I hear every day how courageous I am. I don't see it that way. It's just something I knew I needed to do." Most recently, Ms. Hennigar received an Inspiration Award at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre's annual gala.To read Ms. Hennigar's blog, go to www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/blogs/index.html © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

New Blog: Storm Clouds Heather Hennigar is a 36 year old marketing and communications consultant. She has been the "poster" girl for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre since coming forward, two years ago, with details of her personal battle with mental illness. From Storm Clouds to the Rainbow! It was not an easy road to the end of the rainbow, but I am here! As some of you know, I battled several mental illnesses (concurrently) for several years. It is quite surreal for me to be able to say that I am the happiest I have ever been...I never thought I would be able to say that. Stay tuned, as I am going to share my entire story from beginning to end starting tomorrow! Posted Monday, April 02, 2007 10:21 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments Welcome Everyone! I am so excited to be launching my blog! I hope you all find the content interesting, compelling and thought-provoking. Since I came forward with my personal battle with mental illness, so many amazing things have happened. I look forward to sharing even more details with the world. Stay tuned! HRH Posted Tuesday, March 27, 2007 4:54 PM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

An inventor friend from WA, U.S.A., offered me encouragement. We have never met in person, but had many technical discussions on the Internet.

He pointed out that my glass is not half empty but half full because I have wonderful kids, while he has none. I greatly appreciated his moral support.

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Simon

My ex-wife asked me to change the bank account because she was unable to have her name removed from the joint bank account. It means that I will have to go through the hell of informing many companies (insurance, hydro, cable, utility, etc.). I became upset, but my 16-year old daughter told me to "just say no". My 17-year old son offered to explain my position to his mother.

Anyway, the kids's attitude gave me strength to "just to say no" for my ex-wife's request that she keep her pension intact while I keep the house. Since the amount of her pension is greater than the value of the house, she would have to pay me the difference. I was going to be nice and yield to her demand, but I decided to use this as the last leverage to try to have her seek psychiatric treatment for the kids's sake.

My kids now understand that my ex-wife has nothing to lose by going to see a doctor for her paranoid delusions, and that her continuing denial does not make sense. If she refuses this time, she will lose a significant portion of her pension together with blood-sucking lawyer's fees.

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Simon

A bailiff showed up at the door to hand me a court document from my ex-wife. My 16-year old daughter's advice to "just say no" turned out to be my ex-wife's damand for almost $85K CAD. I had a mini-panic attack with my heart pumping, difficulty in breathing, lack of appetite, dry mouth, etc.

I still felt nothing against my ex-wife, but I was full of feeling of profound sadness once again about what I have done to deserve a worse-than-dead life like this. It was Friday the 13th. :-(

As I read through Heather Hennigar's "Storm Clouds" blog and the readers's comments, the lack of support is the greatest difficulty in mental illness. I was all alone trying to get help for my sick ex-wife who considered it an attack, while my ex-in-laws betrayed me due to their stigma towards mental illness. Go figure...

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Simon

The kids told me that they tried to get their mother to see a doctor for treatment. I was happy about their understanding. Sadly, I found that my ex-wife is suspecting conspiracy between her lawyer and the doctor who wrote that my ex-wife poses no danger to herself or to the others. In spite of all the efforts which cost me more than $12K CAD in legal fees and 2 years of my life, her condition is still unchanged. Since schizophrenia is one of the few deseases that get better with age, I am sure that she will realise the truth in 8 years or so...

The only upside is that my 17-year old son is now interested in becoming a doctor researching neurology, especially how the brain functions.

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Simon

My ex-wife informed me that my lawyer is gravely ill with cancer. She was asking me if I am going to appoint a new lawyer, etc. She engaged a lawyer in the first place because she refused medical treatment for her paranoid delusions. I have no incentive to oppose her on anything other than having corrections made, so I intend to do nothing and let the divorce judgement by default. She may realise that I am not attacking her after all.

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Simon

Walking on eggshells: living with someone with schizophrenia Jim Gibson, The Victoria Times Colonist Published: Tuesday, May 01, 2007 Living with someone who is mentally ill is like a scene in teen horror flicks, says Pam Edwards, whose sister and late husband suffered from schizophrenia. The foxy heroine escapes to the safety of her car, just to see her masked pursuer rise from the backseat. The credits roll. A sequel is likely. For family, friends and colleagues of people with mental illness, there are only periodic escapes or lulls between the psychotic storms, making for an uneasy time-out. "They feel like they're walking on egg shells," agrees social worker Wendy Brooks, who counsels families living with mental illness at the Victoria branch of the B.C. Schizophrenia Society. Initially families have no idea how to behave, always worried about triggering another psychotic episode. Liam McEnery, executive director of the Victoria Mental Health Association, says families also suffer from the uncertainty of life with a mentally ill loved one. "What's going to happen to my child or spouse?" they wonder. "Are they ever going to come back?" Retired teacher Barb Taylor describes the sense of grief that comes when a once-outgoing son succumbs to mental illness. "You grapple with the feeling that who they are now is someone different," says Taylor, whose 28-year-old son, Morgan, was diagnosed with schizophrenia five years ago. Brooks says people also mourn the "loss of dreams" - their own and those of the afflicted family member no longer living the lives they once imagined. But long before the grief comes the acknowledgement that something is wrong. Brooks says many people dismiss what they see as, for example, "the sturm und drang (turmoil) of being adolescent." Most lay people are not attuned to the signs of a mental illness. Moreover, the affected individual may not be willing to disclose such troubling symptoms as hearing voices. And inevitably there is denial of a condition so wrapped in social stigma. "Nobody wants to pony up to that one," says Taylor. Experts agree that society treats mental and physical illness very differently. Edwards, the mental health association's employment program co-ordinator, notes that a teenager dying of cancer would prompt an outpouring of community sympathy, while people would "back away" from a teen suicide. Fear that the mentally ill are unpleasant and out of control even hinders families needing respite care. "It's hard to get someone to come in," Edwards says, adding even caregivers can be fearful. Taylor says a 12-week course for families, given by the schizophrenia society, proved a life-saver. "You learn A to Z about mental illness, what it looks like, what to expect, how to handle the (individual) and other family members," says Taylor, who now helps deliver the course. But, despite this knowledge, Taylor still found the mental health bureaucracy overwhelming. "I knew what I needed. I was told over and over that it was in place" says Taylor. She found out otherwise. "If we wanted to get Morgan up and running, we'd have to do it ourselves." For her part, Brooks is continually impressed by the strength of families dealing with mental illness - even when they don't recognize it themselves. "In a crisis, it's hard to see that you possess strength," she says. Sidebar: Katherine Farris has lived through the whirlwind that surrounds a loved one with mental illness. And that prompted the Victoria woman and co-author Larry MacDonald to write "Being There - When Mental Illness Strikes Someone Near You," a guide originally intended for friends, family and co-workers. "We wanted to help others keep their footing, understand the challenges they face, and learn the things they could do to help during this extraordinary time," the authors write. Farris found nothing like "Being There" when her partner's life began to unravel without warning a decade ago. In a matter of months, he had committed suicide. "(The book) directly covers - and not dramatically - what you need to know when things are feeling chaotic around you," the freelance writer says. The guide is concise and organized by priority. The opening chapter, for instance, is titled "in an emergency" and sets out what to do and expect inside a doctor's office, clinic and hospital emergency room. The chapter continues with a list of questions to ask about discharge, care and advocacy. Subsequent chapters cover the definition of mental illness, how to work with the health-care system, and coping at home and work. A crucial chapter explores caregiver burnout. The material in the guide was gleaned through interviews with people who deal with mental illness, either professionally or as a family member. Advisers included a social worker and Dr. Anthony Levitt, psychiatrist-in-chief at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre and Women's College Hospital in Toronto. Copies of the $2 guide have been purchased - at times by the hundreds - by a utilities company, a union and private corporations. Some include it in wellness packages for employees. Copies are available at (250) 595-5259 or by e-mail at kath@kfarris.com Fact box: Mental health in Canada • Mental illness affects one in five Canadians • Depressive disorders affect about 10 per cent of the adult population • Nearly one in five children and youth have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder • An estimated two-thirds of homeless people using urban shelters have some form of mental illness • Five of the world's 10 leading causes of disability are mental disorders. Statistics from the Canadian Mental Health Association © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Why am I doing all of this??? I have been asked countless times why I decided to share such personal and intimate details about my experience with mental illness. At the end of the day it boils down to this: it has been far too long that mental illness has been swept under the rug as if it were an embarassing, shameful and weak illness. The terminology that shrouds mental illness has got to stop. Perhaps, if you have not been touched (either directly or indirectly) by mental illness, you consider the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" as a reasonable and true facsimile of what it is all about. Well, I am here to tell you to "wake up". It is not like this at all. Also, the whole idea of telling a depressed person to "snap out of it" is a cruel and gravely inappropriate thing to say. If I had any other physiological illness, would you tell me to just get over it? I think not. Mental illness is everywhere...it could be your mother, niece, uncle, cousin, co-worker or spouse. I can't say enough that one in four will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. There is no need to be ashamed of having a mental illness. I know, much easier said than done. This is why I am doing this. I wanted to put a face to the illness. I wanted to show people that mental illness can strike anyone. Mental illness does not discriminate. Why do we continue to discriminate against those who suffer? Enough is enough.... Stay tuned...HRH Posted Wednesday, May 02, 2007 11:07 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

Researchers may have schizophrenia breakthrough Updated Thu. May. 3 2007 10:49 PM ET CTV.ca News Staff A team of Canadian and Scottish scientists has pinpointed one of the genes that causes schizophrenia -- a breakthrough that sheds new light on how the disease can develop. The work is to be published Thursday in the journal Neuron. It demonstrates for the first time that schizophrenia can be caused by a malfunctioning gene, suggesting schizophrenia is linked to depression and bipolar disorder and may have the same underlying cause. The discovery may someday help doctors identify which patients will respond to different types of treatments. "I'm kind of excited about it and I think it should lead to lots of new things," Dr. John Roder, a senior investigator at Toronto's Mount Sinai Hospital, and the lead author of the paper told CTV Newsnet. "I think in my mind this is the first valid animal model really that I would say represents the human disorder, and now rather than treating it with known drugs that work in humans, we can go through our libraries and chemical libraries for new structures and treat the mice and try to make them better, and then discover a new drug. That will take a few years, it won't be tomorrow." Schizophrenia and bipolar affective disorder affect about one person in 50, worldwide. Symptoms usually develop in late adolescence or early adulthood, and usually occur in families with a history of mental illness -- suggesting the diseases are linked to genetics. Roder, who turned from his world-recognized cancer research to study the debilitating disease after his son was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2001, says the findings may open the door to new treatments of schizophrenia, but it will likely be years before that actually happens. Unlike cancer research, which is well funded and carries a high profile, mental health research is often underfunded and stigmatized, and progress is often slow. Roder and experts from the University of Edinburgh and researchers from RIKEN in Japan, studied two types of damage to the gene DISC1. The gene had already been linked to schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression through previous research in Edinburgh done with families that had a high incidence of mental illness. They also found DISC1 was essential to brain signalling, and played a key role in learning, memory and mood. The experts studied mice with two types of damage to the gene, and found that one responded to schizophrenia treatment known as antipsychotics, while the other responded well to anti-depressants, which are used to treat mood disorders. "While the causes of schizophrenia, bipolar affective disorder and major depression are unknown, all the evidence points to subtle differences in the way the brain develops and to chemical changes in the brain. Our previous work identified the DISC1 gene as an important risk factor in these types of mental illness," said David Porteous, chair of Human Molecular Genetics and Medicine at the University of Edinburgh in a news release. "By analyzing the behaviour of mice, we were able to provide further evidence of the importance of DISC1. We also found remarkable clear cut differences between the different types of damage to the gene and the treatment that was the most effective. By analyzing how the brain changes and develops over time we would hope that this would lead to more effective drugs to treat such illnesses." © 2007 CTVglobemedia All Rights Reserved.

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Simon

I noticed a latter to the editor in the newspaper by a dentist in Ottawa, ON. He was proposing a novel way to speed up foreign-trained doctor to be qualified to practice in Canada where doctor shortage is worsening.

I contacted the dentist because I want Galya to be licensed to practice here if and when she moves to Canada from Russia.

Simple plan could let Canada use immigrants' MD skills The Ottawa Citizen Published: Thursday, May 10, 2007 In my dental practice, I have two patients who are immigrants with qualifications as medical doctors. But they cannot practise in Canada. I know of a medical lab technician who is qualified as a gynecologist/obstretician from Pakistan. I have recently heard of MDs driving taxis and working in second-hand clothing shops in Ottawa. I have drawn up a proposal that would have immigrant MDs train in university medical faculties with government subsidization, and repay this subsidy by working in emergency wards for a set period after certification. The proposal is a no-lose situation. We have a medical shortage that will soon reach crisis proportions; bringing trained MDs online will help this. With instant communications worldwide, MDs trained abroad are no longer in the Dark Ages. Such a program would also help attract trained MDs and, with some lateral thinking, our politicians could expand this to other skills Canada needs. I have sent a well-documented brief of my proposal to politicians, universities, medical groups and the media. I have had barely a response -- more along the lines of "that's not our job." Surprisingly, on Tuesday night I got a very positive and encouraging response from the Alberta Ministry of Health and I intend to follow this up. If anyone is interested in receiving an e-mail of my medical proposal, I can be contacted at mila-mikepilon@sympatico.ca . Perhaps interest and pressure from ordinary Canadians might awaken a few people who could do something. Michael Pilon, Ottawa © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

I always wanted to rob a bank. Yesterday, I did it. Really! Here is how it happened.

I went to the bank to wire transfer $1.2K USD to my manufacturing partner in Hong Kong. The teller was taking a long time to fill out the form, so I started reading newspaper. The teller told me that they no longer wire transfer USD to Hong Kong. I became quite upset because I had done such wire transfer before at the same bank. I demanded that the teller call the head office for clarification.

While she was phoning, I noticed a bottle of barbecue sauce on the counter. Since it seems to have been left by a previous customer, I grabbed it. The teller came back to let me know that wire transfer of USD was OK after all. I was relieved, and left the bank with the barbecue sauce wrapped in the newspaper. I later learned that barbecue sauce was a part of the contest promotion that the bank was doing.

So, I literally robbed the bank, and I felt so good for making a revenge against the bank's incompetence! :-) The bank may review their security video and contact the police, but spending time in prison (with free meals) would be much better than my ex-in-law's betrayal due to their stigma towards mental illness.

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Simon

More than decade since last breach at PM's residence Ian MacLeod, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Monday, May 14, 2007 It's been 11 years since the last reported security breach at 24 Sussex Drive, when an unarmed intruder was arrested within seconds of sneaking onto the grounds one night. The March 1996 incident was the first test of new security measures at the prime-ministerial residence following one of the most embarrassing episodes in Mountie history. Shortly after 2 a.m. on Nov. 5, 1995, a man carrying a small knife evaded RCMP security and got on to the grounds from behind the three-storey stone mansion. He smashed a window in a side door with a rock and made it to the bedroom door of a sleeping prime minister Jean Chretien and his wife, Aline. A noise awoke Ms. Chretien, who got up find the armed man outside the door and pulling a glove on one hand. She coolly closed and locked the door and woke her husband, who initially told her "you're dreaming." The prime minister then famously grabbed an Inuit stone carving for protection and the couple called for help. It took seven minutes for Mounties to arrive. The stranger never entered the room, but came frighteningly close to the prime minister. "He was just six feet from the bed," Mr. Chretien said afterward. (Hours earlier, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin had been assassinated in Tel Aviv.) Andre Dallaire, a 34-year-old store clerk from the Montreal area, was found guilty of attempted murder, but not criminally responsible for his actions. He was treated in hospital for paranoid schizophrenia and released. He had been living in Vanier. Four junior Mounties were suspended as part of a major security shakeup that saw the RCMP's elite prime-ministerial personal-protection detail (PMPD) take over the additional responsibility of guarding 24 Sussex and the prime-ministerial retreat at Harrington Lake, where there was another security breach last New Year's Eve. After the 1995 security scandal, it was revealed that an RCMP officer warned a supervisor about the security gap at 24 Sussex months earlier after another man was apprehended as he entered the grounds from behind the house. No charges were laid. As well, a 1989 RCMP report recommended sweeping improvements to security at 24 Sussex, but little appeared to have been done until the Dallaire incident. In the New Year's Eve incident at the prime-ministerial country residence on Gatineau Park's Lake Mousseau, also known as Harrington Lake, a woman smashed her car into a wooden gate fence surrounding at about 2:30 a.m. The Mounties quickly intercepted it. Prime Minister Stephen Harper was sleeping in the home at the time. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

I received in the mail a CD containing a document entitled "Recognizing and Understanding Schizophrenia in Young Adults" prepared by The World Federation for Mental Health. I quickly noted the following, which is the case for my ex-wife who continues to believe that she is not ill despite all my efforts.

If schizophrenia is left untreated, the consequences are severe.

Symptoms categorized as "positive" include: • Hallucinations: The individual with schizophrenia may hear voices or see visions that aren't there or experience unusual sensations on or in his/her body. Sometimes the voices are complimentary and reassuring; sometimes they are threatening and frightening. The voices may also instruct the individual to do things that he/she wouldn't normally do and may be harmful. • Delusions: The individual has strange beliefs that remain, despite evidence to the contrary. The person may believe that he/she is getting instructions from space aliens or being watched by others who will inflict harm. • Memory impairment: The individual may recall that an event occurred but be unable to remember the specifics, such as where, when, or how it took place. In addition, a distraction may cause a person to forget a preceding event.

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Simon

And so it begins... ... The extreme toll my illness took on my marriage was now (sadly) very obvious. For four solid years, my (then) husband had stood by my side. He was there for every hospitalization, every change in medication and had stuck by me - no matter what. To this day, I can't imagine what HE was going through. Sadly, when I was so sick, I never even considered that he was greatly affected too. If I have any regrets about those four years of hell - it would be that I did not realize I was the only one suffering. ... Posted Thursday, May 17, 2007 9:29 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

My 13-year old daughter said that she feels guilty that she had not make a connection between the surveillance and spying that my ex-wife was experiencing and her mental illness during the family crisis 2 years ago. She was the one having fun about surveillance and spying because there were movies "Spy Kids (2001)", "Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (2002)" and "Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003)".

I told her that I also regret in believing in her stories, too.

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Simon

It could have been the happy 20th Wedding Anniversary today. :-(

Instead, the divorce proceeding is scheduled in exactly 1 week. I will not attend the court, so I will let whatever decision made by default.

Coincidentally, I found a newspaper article about men having harder time than women for divorce. I wonder how many men had to deal with their spouses's mental illness...

For men, breaking up is really hard to do Canadian study ties divorce, depression Shannon Proudfoot, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Wednesday, May 23, 2007 Sorry fellas, but a new study reveals men take divorce much harder than women. The Statistics Canada report also shows that men and women whose long-term relationships break up are four times more likely to experience depression than those who remain with their spouses. Just more than four per cent of Canadians married or living with a common-law partner at the beginning of the study were no longer in a relationship when they were re-interviewed two years later. Twelve per cent of those newly single people reported a new episode of depression in the two years after their relationships ended, compared to just three per cent of those who were still coupled. Newly divorced men were six times more likely to report depression than those who remained married, while women who'd been through a breakup were 3.5 times more likely to become depressed than their still-married counterparts. The data are based on the National Population Health Survey, which collected it from about 2,500 Canadians aged 20 to 64 every two years for a decade, beginning in 1994/1995. The study, released yesterday, was controlled for other circumstances that often change during a divorce and may contribute to depression, such as income, social support and the presence of children. History of depression was also taken into account, but the study concluded that even with those factors taken out of the equation, there was still a clear relationship between divorce and depression. "When we start out, whether we're cohabiting or we're married, it's a very exciting time. We're in love, this is going to be great -- especially if we've invested a lot of time and energy and imagined ourselves in a long-term relationship," says Marilyn Boyd, executive director of the Aurora Family Therapy Centre in Winnipeg. "And (when) it doesn't work out, that's a big loss." Ms. Boyd, who also directs the marriage and family therapy program at the University of Winnipeg, says a breakup is much more than the literal loss of someone breathing on the other side of the bed at night. Many people feel a sense of failure that they couldn't make things work, she says, and starting over solo can force people to re-jig their whole self-identity. However, she emphasizes that 12 per cent of Canadians experiencing depression post-breakup means the vast majority make it through relatively unscathed. The report found that most people who were depressed following a breakup had recovered four years later, though a "sizable minority" were still battling depression. As for why men are harder hit by depression following a breakup, Ms. Boyd chalks it up to a "hidden dependency factor." "We have this illusion that it's women who need to be married and it's women who need to be in a relationship," she says. "But in reality, I think men are often more dependent on their partners, emotionally and practically, than (they) realize until the relationship isn't there anymore." Deborah Moskovitch, a divorce consultant in Toronto and author of the upcoming book The Smart Divorce, says we live in a "Noah's ark society" where it's assumed everyone will go through life two-by-two, and that can compound the feeling of loneliness after a breakup. A breakup means not just the loss of a partner, but also relationships with in-laws and mutual friends, and many people are unprepared for the magnitude of it. "There's so many losses that hit people through divorce," she says. "Most people feel alone through the divorce process, and most people are actually experiencing the same things." According to Statistics Canada, four in 10 Canadian marriages will end before the 30th wedding anniversary, amounting to 71,000 couples divorcing in 2003. As a result, there are more support resources available to divorcing couples now, Ms. Boyd says, and the "social stigma" is dropping off. "Every kid whose parents are separating can look around his classroom and find another kid whose parents are separated," she says. "It's not like the way it was 30 years ago, when you felt like you were some kind of social pariah." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Forced medical treatment far from fail-safe Experts agree that while Community Treatment Orders seem to be helping those who suffer from mental illness, it isn't the whole answer when it comes to stopping violence, Richard Foot writes from Halifax. Richard Foot, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, May 26, 2007 Two weeks ago, an international manhunt ended in Texas with the capture of Glen Race, a 26-year-old mentally ill Nova Scotian wanted for the killings of two men in Halifax and a third in New York state. Last Tuesday, Mr. Race's devastated family issued an extraordinary public statement, suggesting his alleged killing spree could have been prevented if Nova Scotia's health system had a legal provision called Community Treatment Orders (CTOs) for the mentally ill. CTOs are one of the most contentious legal provisions in Canadian psychiatry; they are a relatively new measure that allows doctors to coerce unco-operative patients to submit to treatment in the community or be detained and hospitalized against their will. In spite of the controversy, CTOs are a rising trend in Canada. They are currently used in Ontario and in Saskatchewan, are under consideration in Alberta and Newfoundland, and will become an option in Nova Scotia in July. CTOs have gained favour across the western world in recent decades, largely in response to the de-institutionalization of the mentally ill. As health care systems pushed people out of asylums and hospitals, governments scrambled to find ways in which unwilling patients with severe illnesses could be treated and monitored while living in open society. Ontario's CTO measures -- nicknamed "Brian's Law," after Ottawa sportscaster Brian Smith, who was killed by a mentally ill man in 1995 -- were legislated in 2001 amid protest rallies and heavy opposition from the Canadian Mental Health Association, civil libertarians, and church groups. Opponents called Ontario's CTO a "leash law," and said police would soon be handcuffing the mentally ill away for refusing to take their medication. Mindful of the critics, Ontario was careful to craft a law with enough protections to withstand a legal challenge under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not only does Ontario give patients placed under a CTO a right to appeal, it also requires that they be given advice about their legal rights from a Patient Advocacy Office before their doctor places them under a CTO. The Ontario law was also subject to a formal review after five years. The results of that review, released this month, show that CTOs have done more to help the mentally ill in Ontario than hurt them. "The scenario of police dragging people away to institutions never happened," says Steve Lurie, executive director of the Toronto office of the Canadian Mental Health Association, which has provided services to about 250 people under Community Treatment Orders in the past five years. While not every patient has been happy with the conditions imposed on them, says Mr. Lurie, most patients, "would prefer to be in the community with mandated support and treatment, than in a hospital." What's not clear yet about CTOs is whether patients are helped by the orders themselves, or by a raft of new community resources made available in Ontario at the time it imposed the new law. Most people placed under CTOs are given access to community-based resource staff who make sure patients are taking their medication, help them find affordable housing, find jobs or enroll in community activities. Without such intense monitoring and resources, critics say CTOs would fail. "CTOs don't work on their own," says Dr. Steve Kisely, a psychiatrist at Dalhousie University in Halifax. "There's no evidence that shows they're effective without intensive community resources." Dr. Richard O'Reilly, a psychiatrist at the University of Western Ontario, agrees that a full menu of services needs to be in place for CTOs to work. But he says without a legal order, some severely ill people would never access those services. "Individuals have a right to treatment, and that doesn't disappear just because their illness robs them of their ability to recognize their need for treatment," he says. "Even with full mental-health services in place, many of the very ill individuals in my community would not take treatment without that being mandatory. Without the threat of being hospitalized, they'd absolutely refuse." What the experts agree on is that it's difficult to argue -- as Mr. Race's family has -- that a CTO might have prevented the murders Mr. Race is accused of. "I don't think a CTO itself can prevent violent behaviour," says Mr. Lurie, who adds that most provinces have measures outside CTOs to hospitalize psychotic people believed to be a danger to themselves or to others. The difficulty, says Dr. O'Reilly, is predicting which of the few mentally ill people are going to become violent. "I feel really sorry for the Race family," adds Dr. Kisely. "They've honed in on CTOs as an answer. But I can only say the evidence shows that CTOs don't reduce contact with the justice system, or the kind of behaviour that leads to arrests." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Yesterday, I bought a microwave oven to replace the one that broke a few weeks ago. I also bought a scale to measure my weight so that I will not become over-weight. It had a super-special price of $8.88 CAD at a clearance outlet. My weight is hovering around 70 kg.

I learned a sad news today that the director general of a homeless shelter died this week. Until a few years ago, he was a caregiver at the day-care centre where all of my 3 kids attended, and he was very fond of the kids. So, I feel very sad to lose such a great person.

The article says that the loss of his job affected him deeply, just as the loss of a happy family affected me deeply. Having been betrayed by the ex-in-laws, I understand exactly how he was feeling...

June 1, 2007 'One of the greatest people' Man went into steep decline after removal from shelter post By KENNETH JACKSON, SUN MEDIA Leo Allard, the director general of homeless shelter Gite Amis until his recent firing, stands in the kitchen of the new facility in December 2006. Allard died yesterday at his rooming house. Those close to him said the loss of his job affected him deeply. (A.D. Wilson/Sun media file photo) In the weeks leading up to his death, Leo Allard stopped eating and started consuming alcohol heavily. An autopsy will likely indicate that Allard, 43, died of a heart attack, but those close to the Gatineau resident say he died of a broken heart. It was April 18 when he found out that he would be suspended, with pay, until an internal investigation dug into his employment history as the director general of Gite Ami, a homeless shelter in Hull. It was the job he lived for and was always meant to do -- helping those in need. A small group of employees filed a complaint to the board of directors claiming they smelled alcohol on Allard's breath on various occasions. By the end of the month, the investigation couldn't prove he had been drinking on the job, but the damage had already been done. He was officially fired, about six months before his three-year contract was up for renewal. Early yesterday morning, Allard died in his rooming house at 92 Hotel de Ville in Hull. His partner, Michel Badard, 49, said he woke up at about 2:30 a.m. and saw Allard starring at him, sitting upright on a two-person couch. "I said: 'What are you doing?' and he didn't say anything. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he keeled over and died right there," said Badard, who also works at the shelter. Badard called 911 and paramedics tried to resuscitate Allard, but it was too late. He was officially pronounced dead at hospital. 'LOSING IT KILLED HIM' "He loved his job. It was what he lived for and he was so good at it. Losing it killed him," said Badard, who refused to talk about the dismissal, only wanting to talk about the man he loved and shared his life with. "He waited for me to wake up and then he was gone." Maureen McMahon, vice-president of the shelters' board of directors, confirmed Allard was fired, but said the reason is confidential. She said Allard was a man of great "personal integrity" and was "full of compassion." She said in the last four years, three directors, including Allard, have been fired, but again she wouldn't give reasons. Friends of Allard said there was no possible way Allard had been drinking on the job. "If someone called in sick he'd be the first person there to cover their shift and it didn't matter if was 2 a.m. He'd go in," said Francine Mongeon, 44, who worked with Allard at La Soupe. "He was one of the greatest people." Copyright © 2006, Canoe Inc. All rights reserved.

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Simon

I sadly noted that it is the second anniversary of my ex-wife's unilateral separation, leading me to so much pain and suffering from which I have yet to recover completely.

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Simon

I read in Schizophrenia Digest's on-line newsletter "Inspiration & Information" that a film-maker is looking for families who are dealing with a recent diagnosis of schizophrenia to contribute to a full-length documentary. I sent an E-mail message to the producer, and he is interested in my story. So, there may be a chance that I become a (documentary) movie star, like Al Gore in "An Inconvenient Truth (2006)", eh? :-)

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Simon

I measure my weight several time per day now. My weight was 70 kg when I bought the scale, but it is 69 kg now. I am trying to eat less to bring my weight down to my ideal weight of 66 kg. I sometimes find an event or a public seminar with a free breakfast or a free lunch, which would be the only meal for the day. Otherwise, I try to keep the food cost to $2 CAD per day. Until my invention starts selling, my life is like that of the main character in movie "The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)". I have slept in the car due to the lack of money to stay in a hotel/motel, but I have yet to sleep in the public washroom. :-)

I cycle a lot now, weather permitting, instead of driving my car which has a brake problem. When my kids were not at home, I went cycling over the weekend to the Champlain Lookout of the Gatineau Park, both on Saturday and on Sunday. It was about 20 km to go, then 20 km to come back. When I did it in May, it took me 3 hours to go up and 1 1/2 hour to come back. Now, it takes me 2 1/2 hours to go up and 1 hour to come back.

Elsewhere, my new lawyer has not finalised the divorce settlement yet, and my dispute with Revenu Québec has not been resolved yet...

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Simon

Running from fear When you are diagnosed with a mental illness, you really learn who you can count on in your life. Family and friends you thought would be there for you, unconditionally, sometimes disappear and slip (willingly) between the cracks. I still ask myself why this happens. The only conclusion I have been able to come up with is: fear and a gross misunderstanding of how deep these illnesses can run. During all nine of my hospitalizations, I never received a phone call from any member of my family (My Mom, Dad or my two sisters) and nobody came to visit. Ok, they do live in Nova Scotia - but still, a bit odd don't you think? I have learned, the hard way, who I have been able to count on and believe me, this list is short. My message today goes out to the families who have a loved one suffering. Please do not give up on them. Mental illness, while incredibly hard to understand (most of the time), is real. We can not just "snap out of it". If you hear anything I am saying - hear that. Stay tuned...HRH Posted Tuesday, June 12, 2007 8:49 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

I noticed an advertisement in a free newspaper by Ottawa Psychopharmocology Clinic.

Do you feel anxious & worry most of the time? If so, you may be suffering from generalized anxiety disorder. You are not alone. Over 750,000 Canadians suffer from generalized anxiety yet many do not get the correct medical help for this highly treatable condition. Take a minute to answer the following questions: • Do you feel anxious or keyed up and on edge? • Do you find you are easily fatigued? • Do you have difficulty concentrating or does your mind go blank? • Have you been feeling irritable? • Do you experience muscle tension? • Is your sleep disturbed (do you have difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or have unsatisfying sleep)? If you have answered YES to three or more of these questions and have felt poorly for the past six months, you may be suffering from generalized anxiety.

Since I tend to be anxious and to worry, I scored 3 YES out of 6 questions in the mini-questionnaire. So, I left a telephone message to volunteer to participate in a research programme of a new medication. The participants get either an existing medication, a new medication or a placebo for about 10 weeks.

I was later informed that my symptoms are borderline, and that my consumption of red wine precludes me from participating in this research programme. The benefits of red wine with trans-Resveratrol has been proven. It seems that the benefits do not extend to mental health because alcohol is depressant. :-(

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Simon

Working together to end a marriage More divorcing couples opt for mediation rather than litigation Dave Brown, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Monday, June 18, 2007 ... Asked for a suggestion that would reduce the divorce rate, Ms. Currie didn't hesitate. "Put more thought into it before you get married." My suggestion: Go back to the '70s before Family Law Reform. Then the person who left the marriage was the "departing party" and got nothing. Faced with losing everything, a partner was more prone to look for a solution other than divorce. dbrown000@sympatico.ca © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Since my wife's income was greater than mine, the change in law that was intended to protect physically abused wives has penalised me who was deserted by my ex-wife's unilateral separation. This is yet another factor in making my existence "worse than dead". :-(

'Desertion' provisions in marriage law led to tragedies The Ottawa Citizen Published: Wednesday, June 20, 2007 Re: Working together to end a marriage, June 18. While I usually appreciate Dave Brown's attempts at homespun common sense, as a lawyer I could not let the conclusion to this column go unanswered. The suggestion that we revert to pre-1970s family property law, which left the leaving partner with nothing, is both factually incorrect and socially antediluvian. British prime minister W. E. Gladstone was responsible for the passage of the Married Women's Property Act in 1882. Our equivalent was part of the law of Ontario for many years. What Mr. Brown may be recalling is the Ontario Deserted Wives and Children Maintenance Act, a truly horrible law that based the right to financial support on whether the husband had "deserted" the wife. If he had not, no support for her. I can remember on a number of occasions, while serving in student legal aid, watching a husband's lawyer argue his or her client had not deserted his wife, but rather that she had walked out and was the "deserter." Tragically, the response on many occasions was that the reason the wife had left was that she was being physically abused by her husband. Judges and lawyers were quick to come up with the concept of "constructive desertion." While I agree with the notion that marriage breakup should be as civil as possible, I hazard a guess that when a marriage fails, forcing the couple to stay together so as not to lose the right to support or property was not an idea endorsed by Barbara Cohen and her group of stalwart mediators. Richard P. Bowles, Ottawa © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

An Ongoing Fear Almost everyone who knows me well, and the hundreds of people who have contacted me about my series back in January and on this blog, have asked me whether or not I fear I will get sick again. The answer is yes. My illness is "managed" now, and I am on what is referred to as a "maintenance" dose. Life is filled with challenges and struggles...it is what it is. And, because I am (physiologically and psychosocially) more at risk than the average person, my chances of falling into the black hole again are high. However, the one single thing that keeps the "dragon" at bay, is my knowing that I have a choice. By staying on my medication and not "bottling" things inside I am sure to stay on the right track. The alternative would be, well, horrific. I know there are many of you out there right now who have gone off your meds and watch family members do the same thing. I did it too. Why? Well, my reason was out of stubborness, shame (that my colleagues would know) and anger (because I felt I was not getting better - so what was the point?) You can't "force" anyone to start taking medication or stay on them (for that matter). What a shame. I believe that the one single thing we, as a society, need do is create a huge momentum to break the stigma - through a (national) marketing campaign. It has to be an "in your face campaign" in our newspapers, on the radio and everyone has to start talking...really, enough is enough. It is not good enough for just a few small groups and organizations to be doing this. Unfortunately, the one thing it boils down to is money. "There is not enough money to do this"...I hear it all the time. Oh, but it is ok to keep pushing the issue under the rug as we watch our friends and families suffer? NO. What has the government done for us lately in terms of funding? I will be addressing that soon. Stay tuned.....HRH Posted Tuesday, June 19, 2007 9:48 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

I noticed a newspaper advertisement by the Ottawa Health Research Institute for "Healthy non-smoking male volunteers wanted". The description said that this is a chance to help drug development. I replied, and I was told that this study involves a 2-week hospitalisation and a constant follow-up for a total of 28 days. When I found out that the compensation is whopping $4 970 CAD plus free meals, I immediately called them back to make an appointment.

At the Ottawa Hospital, a nurse took my blood and urine samples for screening at the first appointment. They will send the samples to a laboratory in the U.S.A., then to Germany for DNA analysis. The acceptance rate is 50 %, and the result will be known in 2 weeks. I am looking forward to earning tax-free income by selling my body.

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Simon

I read in Schizophrenia Digest's on-line newsletter "Inspiration & Information" that the Mental Health Commission of Canada is recruiting one of the non-governmental Directors of the Board. So, I submitted an on-line application for the part-time board position at their website.

Mental Health Commission of Canada

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Simon

I had known about the positive health effect of omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids, which are contained in oily fish, e.g., salmon, tuna, etc. Amongst other benefits, studies suggest that omega-3 fatty acids in oily fish may help sufferers of depression, reduce the likelihood of heart disease and improve inflammatory conditions such as arthritis.

However, my consumption of fish is 1 can of tuna per month and 1 fillet of salmon in 3 months or so due to high cost and to the fact that such fish contain toxic mercury. After I read a newspaper article 2 weeks ago saying that flaxseeds are the highest known vegetable source of omega-3 fatty acids, I bought a container of ground flaxseeds (0.280 kg). Since then, I have been taking mega-doze of ground flaxseeds every day. There has been no other change in my diet pattern.

Today, I cycled to the Champlain Lookout of the Gatineau Park for the 6th time this year. My time to reach the summit had improved from 3 hours in early May to 2 1/2 hours in early June. However, I was stopping many times to walk uphill, more than half the time. It took me only 1 hour and 40 minutes today to go up, and 50 minutes to come down. Amazingly, I cycled 20 km to the summit non-stop, without walking at all. Unlike previous times, I was not out of breath or out of energy during cycling like before, and I was not tired when I reached the top. So, the benefit of omega-3 fatty acids is definitely not a placebo effect.

I am pleased to discover that flaxseeds are my fountain of youth! Other people may have different metabolism, so the effect may differ. Ground flaxseeds is not a health food with inflated price but cheaply available at a supermarket.

The inspiration comes from the late Dr. Linus Pauling who was taking mega-dose of vitamin C. He won 2 Nobel Prizes, and lived to be 93 years old.

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Simon

Canada Day was boring this year. I did not get a free BBQ at a bingo place because of the requirement to play bingo first. There was a long line-up, and my daughter was hungry, so we left. At Rideau Hall, there was no free ice cream or fruits as they had in previous years.

In order to confirm that the magic effect of ground flaxseeds is not temporary, I repeated the feat of cycling to the Champlain Lookout of the Gatineau Park again, uphill and against the winds for 20 km to go plus 20 km to come back. The only brief stops that I had to make were to seek shelter from the rain. Lo and behold, I reached the top in 1 hour and 40 minutes, just like 2 days before. Flaxseeds contain fibre to lower the level of cholesterol, so it is possible that my arteries have been magically unclogged. :-)

When the supply of coffee beans that I got for free as a promotion is depleted, I will switch back to green tea which is a powerful anti-oxidant. My healthy diet will comprise the following.

• ground flaxseeds (omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids, fibre) • red wine (resveratrol, polyphenols, antioxidants, flavonoids) • green tea (epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG), antioxidants) • multi-vitamin multi-mineral (dietary supplement) • A.S.A./aspirin (heart attack and stroke prevention)

There is a documented clinical case of someone from being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and chronic fatigue syndrome having transformed to a state of total mental and physical well-being after taking omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids.

People who do not get enough omega-3 fatty acids or do not maintain a healthy balance of omega-3 to omega-6 fatty acids in their diet may be at an increased risk for depression. The omega-3 fatty acids are important components of nerve cell membranes. They help nerve cells communicate with each other, which is an essential step in maintaining good mental health.

Dr. Andrew Stoll, M.D., has written a book about why omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids are important to mental health. In the book, Dr. Stoll suggests that restoring our body's natural balance of omega-3 may help maintain brain health and alleviate (and prevent) many types of depression.

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Simon

I received in the mail an invoice from my new lawyer. I have already paid him more than $1K CAD for divorce proceedings. Recalling the expense of $12K CAD for my failed attempt to get my ex-wife to submit to psychiatric assessment, I was quite upset and depressed because there is absolutely nothing constructive about giving money to blood-sucking lawyers. My 16-year old daughter consoled me.

My daughter, who is with me this week, was trying to avoid the situation when the separation was happening 2 years ago because she had seen many family break-ups among her friends. She now seems to understand the truth because she is puzzled by her mother's refusal to seek psychiatric treatment as there is nothing for her to lose. She also said that she had dreamed last night of our happy family...

My 13-year old daughter reported that my ex-wife is often nasty and obnoxious to the kids. I reiterated to her that it would be good if her mother deteriorates because she will have no choice but to seek medical attention. My daughter also said that their grand-parents will visit to celebrate my son's 18th birthday. I insisted that the kids not be influenced by their culture, which is to hide their inconvenient truths at any cost because of stigma.

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Simon

Back in May 2007, I was notified about the 2007 International Conference - Lighting the Path: Hope in Action organised by the World Fellowship for Schizophrenia & Allied Disorders, the Schizophrenia Society of Canada and the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario. I responded to an offer of a scholarship to attend the conference in Toronto, ON.

Today, I received a message from World Fellowship for Schizophrenia and Allied Disorders (WFSAD). Unfortunately, the organisation did not receive the additional funding, so the scholarships will be given only to people with mental illness, not to family or mental health professionals. Oh, well...

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Simon

I participated in an on-line survey by the Mental Health Commission of Canada, whose goal is to identify the key elements of a strategy to reduce stigma and eliminate discrimination surrounding mental illness. The responses will be used to form a 10-year national anti-stigma campaign aimed at promoting a better understanding of mental illness among the general public, according to their website.

This coincided with my ex-in-laws's visit to my ex-wife's house in which my kids are staying this week, to celebrate my son's 18th birthday Wednesday. I do not influence the kids but provide them with facts of the ex-in-laws's actions which contributed to the destruction of a happy family. The kids understand more about the devastating effect of stigma, in their case to do everything in their power to hide their daughter's mental illness.

I made a blood donation Wednesday. Before every blood donation, a nurse checks my vitals like blood pressure, pulse, temperature and blood density. All were within normal range, not like the previous times when one of the blood pressure numbers was borderline. Omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids and fibre in ground flaxseeds continue to make me healthier.

Yesterday, I went cycling. I was drinking and riding, and I crashed into a tree. The accident caused a minor injury to my body, but no damage to the expensive bicycle. So, I was happy, but I am determined to stop drinking and riding in the future, in order to protect my expensive bicycle.

Today, I was informed that the DNA analysis was positive, so I am a candidate for the 2-week hospitalisation and a constant follow-up for 28 days at the Ottawa Hospital for the Hepatitis-C drug research study. However, I am on a waiting list, so if there is no cancellation for August, I will participate in the study in September.

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Simon

Criminally Insane • They murder at random, without reason or remorse. But are spree killers monsters or just mentally ill? Get a chilling look inside their murderous minds. • Florida jail's 'forgotten floor' • Police cope with mentally ill • Warning signs of the criminally insane • Get to know Ted Kaczynski • Special Report: Massacre at Virginia Tech

There are many mentions of "CIA conspiracy", "paranoid delusions", "paranoia", "bipolar", "schizophrenic", "schizoaffective", etc.

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Simon

The Ottawa Citizen has an article about a new mental-health resource website.

eMentalHealth.ca • Welcome to eMentalHealth.ca, Ottawa's online Mental Health Resource Directory and Events Calendar.

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Simon

Margret Kopala • Marijuana's scary science Margret Kopala, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Thursday, July 26, 2007 Scientific developments have established that as many as one in four cannabis users is genetically at risk for developing schizophrenia or a related psychotic disorder. Given recent statistics from the United Nations citing Canada as the industrial world's leading consumer of cannabis, this information should set alarm bells ringing. Instead, Canada's mainstream media responded as if someone had passed out The Happy Hippy Hymn Book that no one noticed is 10 years out of date. "Legalizing pot makes sense," intoned a National Post editorial. Comparing cannabis with alcohol and tobacco, it asked where's the "health footprint of our love for the weed?" A Globe and Mail article titled "The True North Stoned and Free" giggled about Canada's "little pot habit." Then there were the columnists. Suffice to say, only one mentioned the word "psychosis" and that, only in passing. A bag of marijuana held by a Calgary police officer. A connection between marijuana use and schizophrenia is becoming clearer, Margret Kopala writes, leading some former legalization advocates to retract their reckless views. Schizophrenia is a devastating brain disorder that typically produces delusions, hallucinations, disturbances in problem solving, memory and concentration, along with depressed mood, anxiety, and social withdrawal. The causes of schizophrenia are not fully understood, though environmental stressors (childhood trauma, neglect) are thought to interact with genes to produce disruptions in brain chemistry. Studies conducted in Europe, New Zealand and the United Kingdom have demonstrated that cannabis is one of those stressors and that with their rapidly developing brains, the young are particularly vulnerable. The younger the user and the higher the potency of marijuana's active ingredient, tetrahydrocannibol (THC), the greater the risk. This information is causing headline news in the United Kingdom, but on this side of the Atlantic no one seems to have noticed. In a column two years ago I described how genes and marijuana could interact to increase risk of developing psychosis. The COMT gene, consisting of a MET type and a VAL type, metabolizes dopamine, a brain chemical that produces the "highs" characteristic of drug and alcohol use. A MET/VAL mixture increases risk of psychosis from cannabis twofold. A VAL/VAL mixture increases the risk 10 times. Since a quarter of the population is VAL/VAL, a quarter is MET/MET and the rest a mixture, the assessment that 25 per cent of youth are at risk is probably conservative. That column resulted from an interview I had conducted with the world's pre-eminent authority on marijuana and psychosis, Professor Robin Murray. Lead and co-author of countless studies on the subject, he is also professor of psychiatry at King's College Institute of Psychiatry in London and co-author of the standard textbook on this issue, Marijuana and Madness. He also led criticism of British government policy that ignored the mental health issues associated with marijuana use. To its credit, Paul Martin's Liberal government quietly withdrew its marijuana decriminalization bill shortly after publication of my 2005 column. I like to think that someone in that government had finally managed to do their homework. But did anyone else? Apparently not, even though the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry featured marijuana and psychosis as the cover story of its summer 2006 issue. Recently, Addiction magazine predicted that a quarter of new cases of schizophrenia by 2010 will result from cannabis smoking. In March of this year, the Independent -- a major British newspaper -- retracted and apologized for its stand on decriminalizing marijuana: "Record numbers of teenagers are requiring drug treatment as a result of smoking skunk, the highly potent cannabis strain that is 25 times stronger than resin sold a decade ago." Schizophrenic mice created for research Scientists have created the world's first schizophrenic mice in an attempt to gain better understanding of the illness. It is believed to be the first time an animal has been genetically engineered to have a mental illness. Until now, they have been bred only for research into physical conditions such as heart disease. It will allow researchers to study the disease and develop treatments using a limitless supply of laboratory animals. Animal rights campaigners have condemned the research, saying it is morally repugnant to create an animal doomed to mental suffering. The mutant mice were created by modifying their DNA to mimic a mutant gene first found in a Scottish family with a high incidence of schizophrenia, which affects about one in every 100 people. At least 10 per cent of that nation's schizophrenics could have avoided the illness if they had not used cannabis, Mr. Murray believes, while British rapper J-Rock, a rehabilitated skunk addict, told the Independent that "if you're on skunk and you have a confrontation with somebody, you feel almost untouchable." "Skunk induced paranoia," the Independent concluded, "is behind the surge in violent crime." Remember, once you are psychotic, you don't need continued hits of marijuana to behave aggressively or to experience paranoia. The illness has been triggered. Canada has yet to adopt the skunk moniker. "B.C. Bud," "weed" and "pot" are much less threatening words. But make no mistake, with today's growing technologies, all the above are just as potent as European skunk. A UN spokesperson recently observed that countries get the drug problems they deserve. So by all means, let us discuss the relative merits of legalizing or decriminalizing marijuana use. One scientist has suggested it could be regulated according to potencies. Others are finding possible benefits for psychosis that is drowned out by high THC levels. But so long as that discussion ignores the overall health effects of marijuana, Canada will get the drug problem it deserves. Indeed, it's probably already arrived. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

It is Day 0 of the 28-day Hepatitis-C drug research study as a guinea pig. I reported to the Ottawa Hospital at 07:30 in the morning for a brief test, and the 2-week hospital stay would start at 20:00 in the evening.

Coincidentally, the following news brief came out the same day.

Schizophrenic mice created for research Scientists have created the world's first schizophrenic mice in an attempt to gain better understanding of the illness. It is believed to be the first time an animal has been genetically engineered to have a mental illness. Until now, they have been bred only for research into physical conditions such as heart disease. It will allow researchers to study the disease and develop treatments using a limitless supply of laboratory animals. Animal rights campaigners have condemned the research, saying it is morally repugnant to create an animal doomed to mental suffering. The mutant mice were created by modifying their DNA to mimic a mutant gene first found in a Scottish family with a high incidence of schizophrenia, which affects about one in every 100 people. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Supporting Loved Ones is Tough... Today I am compelled to chat about how to help family members who are ill. More specifically, what happens when your loved one goes off their medication or simply does not want to seek treatment. Unfortunatlely, we can't force people to take their meds. I am an example of this. After being medicated for about nine months, I decided to go off my meds. Why? Well, partly because I felt like I was not getting any better and partly because I had convinced myself I could battle it all on my own...no doctors or meds. About a month after I went off my meds, I sank to the bottom. It was scary how it did not take too long for me to be on the path to "rock bottom" again. Luckily, my doctor agreed to see me again; it was not an easy appointment. I had to promise I would start taking the new medication and continue with regular appoinments and psychotherapy. I have heard from so many people who tell me their friend or family member stopped taking their meds. They ask me what they should do. They feel helpless, sitting along the sidelines as they see thier loved ones wasting away and succumbing to the illness(es). You can't force anyone to do anything. All you can do is be there for them. This is much easier said than done. However, take it from me...on some level they are listening. Support them the best you can. Try to be involved in their care - go to their appointments and make sure they are taking their meds. Yes, it is exhausting....I know. But the alternative is much, much worse. If you read my other blog this week about the three homeless people I met, they stand as three perfect examples of mentally ill people whose family and friends gave up. So many of the homeless people you see are mentally ill; people gave up on them and they gave up on themselves. It's a vicious circle. It's tough - trying to support someone who is mentally ill. Very tough. Life is too short to give up on them though. Do your best...that's all that can be done. Stat tuned...........HRH Posted Friday, August 10, 2007 7:49 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

I survived the 14-day ordeal of hospitalisation at the Ottawa Hospital for the Hepatitis-C drug research study as a guinea pig. There were a total of 8 patients. It was great to get free meals 3 times per day, but it quickly became dull and boring. There was a daily walk outside for 45 minutes or so, but I gained weight. The doctor was asking the same set of questions every morning, while nurses were working very hard taking blood and urine samples, blood pressure and pulses, doing electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG), etc. I only had limited Internet connection, so it was impossible to chat with anybody until I found the Yahoo Webmessenger. Also, my 2 roommates were using the telephone all the time.

Yesterday, the doctor told me that I had elevated levels of liver enzymes, twice the normal. Since the levels were low before the study, he thinks that it was most probably due to the medication. It means that I was not taking a placebo. When the doctor gave me a choice of voluntarily exiting from the study, I begged him to let me continue. Today, the nurse told me that I am kicked out of the study because the levels of aspartate aminotransferase (AST or SGOT) and alanine aminotransferase (ALT or SGPT) continue to be elevated. It means that I am free to consume wine and tea at any time, but the compensation would be cut in half. Oh, well...

My daughters reported that my ex-wife has become mean to the kids, and that she does not care how much the kids have suffered from the unilateral separation. It reminds me of how Oscar was describing his soon-to-be ex-wife's condition.

Last weekend, my kids went to visit their grandparents with my ex-wife. They have become more and more reluctant to go there. 2 years ago, my ex-wife cut me off. Last year, she stopped trusting my son. Now, both of my daughters are often crying because their mother no longer trusts them. What next?

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Simon

Daily Affirmation Ask MIKI PSYCHIC ADVICE If there's a reason to be reunited, the universe will put us in the path of those we thought were forever lost.

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Simon

At Risk of Losing Everything For some strange reason...the other day I realized how much mental illness costs us. Of course, I never thought about this during my illness - I had many other things on my mind. What I am speaking about is the loss of self, family, friends and work. As frustrating as it is, so many people still think you can "snap out of it" and just resume your life if you try hard enough. Well, it does not work that way. And, sadly, the longer you are depressed, the longer you are at risk of losing things. Everything that was a part of your "normal" life starts slipping away. Like work, for example. Many, many people need to take time off work. When this happens and, if you are anything like the way I was, you worry about what your co-workers are thinking, if the money will run out and feeling a huge sense of loss and vulnerability. Then there is the impact mental illness has on your spouse, family and friends. All too often, the people closest to you find it hard to reach you, emotionally. This is inherent in mental illness...you want to hibernate and shut people out. I know this, because this is exaclty what I did. In so many ways, it is not intentional at all. It is just part of the package of depression. I did not want to bring anyone "down". I felt like a burden, so I just closed myself off. Depression, at its worst, can cause the breakdown of marriages, friendships and your career. I know because I went through it all. Not so much the career aspect - but certainly the other two. I wish I had some magical answer as to how you can prevent this all from happening. But, I have learned that being as open as you can to sharing your feelings and having your friends and family be a part of your treatment and recovery, is a good start. It's hard...no doubt about it. Do your best...that's all you can do. Stay tuned.....HRH Posted Wednesday, August 29, 2007 8:59 AM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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Simon

Funny, inspiring documentary helps mentally ill battle stigma Program teaches power of healing through laughter Tony Lofaro, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Thursday, August 30, 2007 A woman dressed in a wedding gown walks up to a microphone. She's clearly nervous as she faces the audience in what appears to be a comedy club. "Did you ever get the feeling you're supposed to be somewhere else," she deadpans, eliciting chuckles. This is Eufemia Tantetti, one of the people featured in the new documentary, Cracking Up. She's not a professional comedian. In fact, she is a victim of childhood abuse and has battled clinical depression most of her life. Her mother was schizophrenic. The fact Ms. Tantetti is able to face strangers speaks highly of her courage and the success of a course she participated in that helped her battle her demons through standup comedy. Cracking Up follows a year in the life of 11 people who suffer from mental illness and use laughter as therapy. The documentary airs tonight at 9 p.m. on CBC. The documentary is funny, inspiring and insightful as it shows the progress of these individuals who have no formal training in comedy but, through steady reinforcement and encouragement, take to the stage. Their success as performers is largely attributed to Vancouver's David Granirer, a standup comic who fought depression for about 15 years and is on medication. In his course, he coaches people with mental illness to confront their disease through standup. "Part of the healing capacity of the course is that they take incidents they're ashamed of, turn them into standup comedy, tell them to people and then have audiences afterwards tell them how wonderful they were," said Mr. Granirer, 46, in a telephone interview from Vancouver. "All of a sudden they feel, 'I'm not such a bad person after all and people can relate to me.' It really helps to diffuse a lot of the shame they have." Mr. Granirer is the founder of Stand Up for Mental Health, a Vancouver-based group with chapters in several Canadian cities, including Ottawa. He says people in his course have a desire to perform standup, but they also have a commitment to "fight the public stigma" of mental illness. He says the participants in the documentary felt it was part of their "contribution to the mental health community" to bring about a better understanding of the disease. Some of those in the documentary are Robbie Englequist, a schizophrenic, Michael, who is bi-polar and has attention deficit disorder, and Paul, who suffered a traumatic injury to his brain and spine after he fell from a balcony when he was two years old. "When I had met Robbie, he had come through years of failure, he was frightened and withdrawn," said Mr. Granirer. "But as the year progressed, he completely changed. It's like he came back to life. His mom says he has something to live for now and he's changed in his attitude about things." Mr. Granirer says Robbie has developed a resilience to his personality, he's more confident and feels that he's accomplished something after going through the comedy course. "And for the first time in his life, he's getting attention for doing something positive, instead of getting attention for getting in trouble, fighting or doing drugs." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

I watched the announcement of the establishment of the Canadian Mental Health Commission on CPAC (Cable Public Affairs Channel). Well, I was not chosen as a member of the board of directors. :-( Apparently, the competition was very tough, i.e., 500 applications for 11 positions, according to Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

Ottawa establishes Canadian Mental Health Commission Meagan Fitzpatrick, CanWest News Service Published: Friday, August 31, 2007 OTTAWA -- Canada has a new federal agency to deal with a "major national health problem," Prime Minister Stephen Harper said Friday when he announced details about the Canadian Mental Health Commission. "Mental illness has a significant impact on all of our lives," Harper said at an event in Ottawa. "It costs our economy billions and our society untold grief. In short, it's a major national health problem." The new commission will improve the quality of life for Canadians dealing with mental illness. Harper pledged the new commission will improve the quality of life for Canadians dealing with mental illness and their families. "It will seek to ensure that Canadians in every part of the country will have access to the best prevention, diagnostic, and treatment practices," he said. Harper announced that retired senator Michael Kirby and Senator William Keon will be among the members of the commission's board of directors. Kirby, who was named commission chair, and Keon sat on the Senate social affairs committee which produced an extensive report on mental health in 2006. Among its numerous recommendations was the creation of a national mental health commission. Harper said Kirby and the other senators made a strong case and laid the groundwork for Friday's announcement. The Conservatives are following through on the senators' recommendation for a national body on mental health and in the 2007 budget $10 million over two years was promised to establish the commission. The government also pledged further annual funding of $15 million beginning in 2009 to operate the agency. Harper said the commission will launch a national campaign to fight the stigma attached to mental illness and it will also include a national clearinghouse for information on the best practices for treating mental illness. Harper said there were more than 500 applicants for the new commission's board of directors and that those chosen represent the best minds in the field of mental health. © CanWest News Service 2007

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Simon

Mental-health commission launched Panel to study ways to improve care, erase 'stigma' attached to disease Richard Foot, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, September 01, 2007 A national Mental Health Commission has been launched by the federal government to figure out how Canada can better care for its mentally ill, and to fight what Prime Minister Stephen Harper calls the "stigma" attached to such patients. "We see mental-health disease everywhere," Mr. Harper said yesterday, announcing the creation of the $55-million commission. "One in five Canadians will develop some kind of mental illness in their lifetime. "(The commission) will lead a national campaign to erase the stigma attached to mental illness." The commission -- which will be led by former Liberal senator Michael Kirby, and is composed of 17 people from across the country -- was one of the recommendations of a 2006 Senate report on the state of mental-illness care in Canada. The report, co-authored by Mr. Kirby, said Canada is one of the few industrialized nations not to have a national healthcare strategy for mental illness. It recommended a sweeping transformation and integration of what is now a disparate mix of ad-hoc services in different provinces. The report's principle theme was that the de-institutionalization of the mentally ill in recent decades has not been followed up with adequate services in community settings, where many people with mental illness now live. The report called for a national commission as a first step toward writing a new mental-illness strategy, and integrating health care services across the country. It also said the commission should undertake a campaign to educate Canadians about mental illness -- spreading the message that diseases such as depression or schizophrenia are not only common, but should not be accompanied by the discrimination often suffered by people who have them. "The commission must ensure that mental health issues are never again allowed to retreat back into the shadows," said Mr. Kirby yesterday. "One of our major goals is going to be to start changing public attitudes." Mr. Kirby was circumspect when asked by reporters if the federal government had provided enough money for a new era of mental-health treatment and care. The five-year, $55-million cost of the commission -- already announced in the last federal budget -- is $30 million short of what Mr. Kirby's Senate report was looking for over the same period. The Senate report also called on the federal government to spend an additional $500 million a year for new mental-illness services -- mostly for specialized housing and community-based programs. That money has not yet materialized, but Mr. Kirby said he believed it would come, because the work of the new commission will create a public demand for more spending. "Once we reorganize services," he said, "there will be huge pressure on government to put money in. But there's no point putting money in if you don't know how to spend it yet. "This is a big problem," Mr. Kirby added. "It was very long in the making and it'll be long in the solving." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

Today, I received a letter from ex-Senator Michael Kirby that 11 people out of more than 400 applicants were chosen as members of the board of directors of the Canadian Mental Health Commission, and that I was not one of them. :-(

Erasing the stigma The Ottawa Citizen Published: Wednesday, September 05, 2007 The neglected and misunderstood field of mental health might finally get the attention it needs, with the launch of a new national commission. Government commissions are not the most nimble way to deal with big problems; Canadian history is littered with ignored reports. Nonetheless, there's reason to believe this commission can be influential and useful. Expertise is available. There's a political consensus about the nature of the problem. And the public is becoming painfully aware of just how urgently Canada needs good policy in this area. Through much of the last century, our culture acted as though body and mind were independent of each other. We're starting to understand just how much, and in how many ways, mental health affects physical health. Anxiety, addiction, disordered eating, depression: these are common conditions with both physical and mental symptoms. Mental illness can lead to lost productivity in the workplace and to tension and breakdown at home. Senator Michael Kirby's leadership in treating mental illnesses as sicknesses, rather than curses, has been inspiring. We're still trying to understand the connection between mental illness and the persistent problem of homelessness in Canadian cities. A report from the Canadian Institute for Health Information says mental disorders (including substance abuse) account for 52 per cent of hospital stays among homeless people; in the general population, the figure is five per cent. The new commission is tasked with helping to break down the social stigma that still contributes to the suffering of people with mental disorders, and to their families' pain. Our very language is an inheritance from a time when the mentally ill were objects of derision: unthinkingly, we toss around the words "crazy" and "nuts" as generic insults. That's not to say that political correctness, or walking on social eggshells, is the way to fight the stigma. No, the best way to fight any false idea is with honesty, patience and compassion. We're still searching for the right balance between what's best for individuals and what's best for society. Should universities be able to warn the parents of students who seem dangerously unbalanced? Do people with potentially dangerous conditions have the right to refuse treatment? Some forms of discrimination against the mentally ill are surely justified (potential recruits for pilot school or police college should undergo psychological screening), but what forms of discrimination are not justified? The commission might not be able to answer all the questions. But it can facilitate communication, and help governments develop effective services. The launch of the commission is a testament to the impact that determined, hardworking senators can have. Michael Kirby, who retired recently from the Senate, led a committee review about mental health. It's been almost two years since that committee recommended the formation of a national commission, and since the then-health minister Ujjal Dosanjh announced its creation. It's long past time to get this process started. Mr. Kirby, whose sister struggled with clinical depression, will be the chairman of the new commission. The biggest job, though, falls to Canadian society at large. Cultural change happens person by person, family by family. If we're going to get past our destructive old ideas about mental illness, we'll have to conquer much fear and ignorance. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

I attended a seminar on mental health with my 14-year old daughter.

CIHR CAFÉ SCIENTIFIQUE PRESENTS Stress, depression, anxiety: Am I the only one? Staying healthy in a crazy workplace can be a challenge. Stress, depression, anxiety are more common than we think - one in five Canadians will experience mental illness at some point in their lives. How do we deal with it in the workplace? How do others deal with it? Does mental illness still carry the stigma it once did? Our leading experts have some answers about how our work affects our mental health and how our mental health affects our work.

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Simon

Missing person Peter Liebel left home with a lethal cocktail of drugs. The investment banker had tried to kill himself four times in less than six months. So when police showed up to notify his family, they were both dreading and expecting news of his death James Bagnall, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Sunday, September 30, 2007 The top ranks of finance and investment banking are filled with super-achievers who value long hours and a mastery of detail. There is no room for weakness, no honour in frailty. For decades in this competitive climate, Peter Liebel climbed to the highest levels, all the while battling depression. The investment banker served on the boards of Ottawa-based companies and entertained generously from corporate hospitality suites. He owned comfortable homes in Ottawa and Mont Tremblant, and seemed confident and quick to laugh. Only occasionally did his demeanour hint at insecurity. None of his colleagues knew of his torment or how hard he worked to avoid the stigma of mental illness. He clung to normalcy. Even when ill, he completed complex transactions on behalf of Dundee Securities, in part by hiding behind his BlackBerry and other electronic gadgets that allowed him to avoid face-to-face meetings when necessary. In the end, though, it is this determination to hide his depression that may have pushed him over the edge. When Liebel slipped into the driver's seat of his 2003 Acura SUV at about 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, April 28, he'd already tried to kill himself four times in less than six months. Just two weeks earlier, he'd been released from the psychiatric ward of the Ottawa Hospital -- no longer considered a danger to himself, doctors said. Yet when he left home that late-April day, he was carrying a lethal cocktail of drugs. When he planned to kill himself is not certain. Hours earlier, he'd purchased Senators tickets so he could take his daughter, Sarah, to a playoff game that Monday night. And as he pulled out of his driveway into the cold spring drizzle, he passed festive Sens banners hanging from telephone poles. But his mood was a mirror for the bleakness of the day. - I thought I knew Peter Liebel. Over the years we'd had dozens of conversations about travel, business, sports and, occasionally, about life. I'd seen him at his best -- when his warmth and curiosity dominated his darker side. Except for his final year, this was most of the time. But Liebel could be mean, too, when his competitive instincts took over or when alcohol coloured his judgment. In the days after April 28, I began to wonder how I -- and nearly everyone -- had missed signs of his illness. Neighbours, school friends, business colleagues who spent hours with him in pressure-filled situations, and journalists, perhaps especially journalists -- he did not trust any of us with his secret. That burden was for his inner circle, a tight group of relatives who now seem almost relieved to talk about Liebel's last months. At the centre of the circle were his parents, remarkable individuals who arrived in Canada in extraordinary circumstances. Greta, a native of Aachen, Germany, lost nearly all her family in the Holocaust. Austrian-born George was detained as an enemy alien in England and shipped in 1940 to Quebec's Eastern Townships where he was interned as a prisoner of war. Later, he was among 1,000 internees who stayed in Canada. He earned a chemistry degree, eventually becoming a senior executive of Felton International, a Montreal firm that produced flavours and fragrances used in bubble gum and incense. When Peter Liebel was rising in the public service during the late 1970s, he phoned his father every day at 5 p.m. They talked about economics, world affairs and the inner workings of the Trudeau administration. "Dad was absolutely fascinated," says Susan, Peter's younger sister, a grade school teacher in Toronto. In July 1981, George Liebel died of a heart attack at the age of 64. Peter, who had just turned 30, was devastated. He continued to call home daily and he and his mother would talk at length about stocks and the business of government. The Liebels raised an ambitious son. Peter was student council president at Montreal West High and a top debater. At McGill, he won the Commonwealth scholarship to study at the London School of Economics. "Peter was always an achiever," says Susan, "I don't remember him being any other way." He set out for LSE in 1972, convinced he could do anything. But it was in London that he was first betrayed by his mind. "Peter would continually ask himself what he was doing in London, what he should be doing with his life," recalls Martin Heppner, a high-school friend also at LSE. "He spent whole days in bed." Liebel couldn't concentrate or analyse things. Nearly as disturbing to him was his indecision. The symptoms would return again and again during his life. At LSE, the funk lasted a few weeks and prompted a visit from Greta. Later, Heppner sent Peter home where he spent the summer with his parents. Liebel returned to LSE in September and eventually earned his master's degree in politics. "Peter's symptoms seemed to appear most strongly whenever he was confronting a significant change," recalls Heppner, Liebel's best friend until the late 1990s when the pair had a falling out. Once Liebel settled on a path, he was OK. In 1974, Peter landed a job in Ottawa as an analyst at Treasury Board, the federal department responsible for managing the government's financial accounts. He didn't know it at the time, but his experience was not uncommon. People who suffer major depression tend to exhibit their first symptoms in their early 20s, although years can pass before a recurrence. Liebel never discussed his breakdown with Heppner, or with Susan. Indeed, it's unlikely he even considered it an episode of depression or a warning of something more profound. Whatever it was, he'd recovered, and done so without drugs. - His depression re-emerged a couple of decades later with a force that took everyone by surprise -- even Margot Montgomery, the very smart librarian who'd caught his eye on the courts at the Rideau Tennis Club during the early 1980s. Margot liked Peter's intelligence, energy and mischievous sense of humour. "We were in love, but I had just finished a rather unsuccessful marriage," she says. "I wasn't sure I wanted to do it again." Peter was persistent. He won her over and organized everything -- the wedding at city hall, honeymoon at Mont Tremblant and their new home near Island Park Drive. The first years were good, though not without minor irritations. Peter was a nighthawk and didn't mind a messy house while Margot woke up early and valued neatness. After Sarah was born in 1984, Peter was on the road a lot, in Asia and Europe, with the departments of Communications and Industry. He was already a workaholic, though knew enough to take breaks. During the late 1980s, Peter, Sarah and Margot -- by this time working for the Library of Parliament -- took long vacations in Greece, Britain and California. But in 1988, Peter's workload escalated after he was promoted to assistant deputy minister of Finance. Things were fine for a year or two, but then he started to talk incessantly -- almost obsessively -- about problems at work. Margot tried to help him sort it through. "I didn't understand that I wasn't helping him," she says now. A difficult stretch began in 1993 when Paul Martin became finance minister. Martin was a bruising debater. He'd offer suggestions, expecting ADMs to have facts at their fingertips and to tell him when his ideas were wrong or unworkable. Some mandarins learned to ignore Martin's short-tempered insults. Liebel, though, took Martin's criticisms personally and would complain bitterly to friends. "Finance was soul-destroying for Peter," said Margot. Early in 1994, Liebel seized the opportunity to serve as executive director of the Information Highway Advisory Council -- an agency that would advise the government on how to make the Internet available to Canadians. The council submitted its report in the fall of 1995. The period between the launch of the council and its final report would prove nearly catastrophic. Relations between Margot and Peter were deteriorating, though neither thought to blame the depression. Peter had started to take tranquillizers to settle his thoughts. "He was trying to get himself together through a self-healing process," Margot says. "He went jogging for at least an hour every day." Eventually, Margot consulted a psychologist about her own feelings of helplessness. "I think Margot shielded us from a lot in those years," said Susan. When Margot insisted the couple see a marriage therapist, the counsellor told her, "I can't treat Peter until he gets professional help." The need for outside intervention announced itself more urgently in 1994 or 1995 -- Margot cannot recall precisely. She was driving the family home after a weekend at Tremblant. Sarah, then about 10, and a friend were in the back seat while Peter dozed in the front, numbed by tranquillizers. This was the usual arrangement. Halfway home, Margot noticed her husband was quieter than usual. They had argued earlier, but she hadn't thought anything of it. But now he seemed unresponsive. She sped up the car, dropped off Sarah's friend and arranged to leave her daughter with a relative. Minutes later, Margot pulled up to the emergency entrance of the Royal Ottawa mental health unit. There she learned that her husband had overdosed on pills. - Investment banking seemed an odd profession for someone who suffered bouts of insecurity. In fact, Liebel's move was preceded by months of indecision. After completing his work on the Information Highway, he took a buyout package. "He didn't know what he would do," said Margot. Peter stayed at his mother's house in Toronto, commuting back and forth to Ottawa as he consulted head hunters. He discussed his options during endless calls to his brother-in-law Gabor Herczeg and to high-school friend Martin Heppner. Although at the time Herczeg was a consultant with Arthur Andersen, a global accounting operation, and Heppner is a partner with a Toronto-based investment bank, it seems unlikely they influenced Liebel's decision. "He had made his mind up already," says Herczeg. The outplacement executive connected Liebel with Toronto-based First Marathon Securities, which he joined late in 1996. Liebel had regained his self-confidence, thanks to regular visits to a psychiatrist and a new regimen of anti-depression medicines. The combination of therapy and drugs seemed to work during the next decade. Not only did his symptoms nearly vanish, but he was able to work at a very high level. This is the way treatment of depression is meant to work. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto estimates more than 80 per cent of people with major depression can recover. Still, it's difficult for doctors to arrive quickly at the precise mix of drugs, dosages and lifestyle changes that offer long-term relief of symptoms. "Peter was always looking for that magic bullet," says Herczeg, "something that would work right away." But, around 1997, Liebel's drugs were working. As long as they did, he saw no need to adjust his egregious workload. Late in 1999, Liebel joined CIBC World Markets, one of the country's largest investment banks. He was to open an office in Ottawa and market CIBC World Markets' services to the city's burgeoning high-tech community. He could finally stop commuting to Toronto. "Peter worked all hours," recalls Susan Croft, his gentle and efficient administrative assistant from 2000 to late 2006. "In the evening, there were conference calls with different companies. He often worked until after 11 p.m." At times Liebel stuffed two or three briefcases with market analyses, securities filings and stock reports. (After his death, his sister found seven briefcases in his home.) He met clients and prospects over breakfast or dinner. He entertained them at his Tremblant chalet or in a corporate box at Scotiabank Place. Liebel's clients thought him a bit nervous, but he squeezed a lot of infectious energy into his muscular, five-foot-seven frame. Many commented on his drinking in social settings. On some nights, Liebel would slur and walk with an uncertain gait. Colleagues recall that Liebel was particularly difficult at a Boys & Girls Club event a couple of summers ago. Such behaviour may have been the result of mixing alcohol and anti-depression medicine. It also seems a significant clue something was wrong. Liebel wasn't a good typist, so Croft worked long hours co-ordinating his e-mails. In fact, she'd become a central figure in a highly fluid network that connected Liebel with dozens of CIBC analysts and specialists across the continent. Among her many duties, she'd arrange to have detailed presentations by CIBC World Markets on the desk of potential clients the morning after Liebel made his pitches. Liebel could be suffocating. He hovered as she worked. When organizing social events, he stepped it up a notch. During the summer of 2000, for instance, he invited several hundred high-tech entrepreneurs, managers and media on a chartered cruise of the Ottawa River. Every 30 minutes, he'd wander to Croft's desk for an update on the party list. And yet Liebel's tenacity paid off. "He built the Ottawa office from scratch," says Croft, "and he was doing millions of dollars worth of business." Croft understood that Liebel's most annoying office habits were not intentional. When she implored him to give her space, he seemed shocked. Flowers would appear the following morning. Yet he was determined to succeed, so he ended up repeating the behaviour. "Peter really was a kind person," says Herczeg, "but the other side of his personality was that he was very aggressive." Few in his world found his hours or style of work unusual. "Hardly any of us pay enough attention to family and a normal social life," said one chief financial executive who dealt regularly with Liebel. Margot and Peter separated in 2004. By that time, Sarah had left to study at McGill. Though Peter kept in touch with both Margot and Sarah, his home life was empty. Unfortunately, the departure of his wife and daughter coincided with CIBC's decision to re-assess the need for a World Markets office in Ottawa. Initially, the closure didn't seem to hurt Liebel. The change was not at his initiative, so he hadn't had time to dwell. Plus he'd received another severance package. "I'd never seen him so relaxed," said Susan. The family, including Sarah and her first cousins, took a Mediterranean cruise to celebrate Greta's 80th birthday. But Peter's competitive streak returned and he talked with associates about returning to banking. When his family suggested he try something else -- teaching, for instance -- Liebel dismissed it out of hand. In 2005, he landed a job with Dundee Securities, a Toronto-based securities firm that had been thinking about opening an operation in Ottawa. By 2006, Liebel had a new office in Kanata down the hall from LaBarge Weinstein, a prominent business law firm. Liebel visited frequently during the day to chat and compare notes about the recovering tech sector. He had coaxed Sue Croft out of retirement to serve as his private secretary, albeit on contract. Liebel was free to cultivate his extensive contacts and make Dundee a financier for a new generation of Ottawa tech startups. And then his anti-depression drugs stopped working. - The signs were clear to Croft early in the summer of 2006. Liebel wasn't following up with customers. He didn't return phone calls. Decisions were delayed. Liebel confided in Croft about his depression but implored her to keep his secret. The deception was not easy to carry off. Dundee's Kanata office was small. Liebel and Croft developed a subterfuge. When Liebel appeared to be staring blankly into his desk or computer screen, Croft would enter his office and close the door. There the two would sit quietly, pretending to work. One day Liebel was in particular difficulty. "I can't stand this pain," he uttered quietly. Later that fall, Herczeg witnessed a more dramatic display. Liebel was confiding his distress when his cellphone rang. Without thinking, he answered and transformed instantly into a professional banker. After snapping his cellphone shut, he went quiet. "It was as though he diverted all his energy into sounding normal," says Herczeg. "The effort exhausted him." It was enough to fool Liebel's clients. During the last half of 2006, Liebel played a central role in at least two deals won by Dundee. His employer raised $18 million in August on behalf of Plasco Energy Group, a private firm that specializes in technology for transforming waste into energy. "I had absolutely no idea Peter was suffering," says Plasco CEO Rod Bryden, who spent hours with Liebel during negotiations over financing. It was a similar story at Wi-Lan, a patent-licensing firm that sold 6.7 million shares in the fall to Dundee and other banks for $30 million. If anyone could pierce Liebel's shell, it was Steve Bower, Wi-Lan's chief financial officer. Bower and Liebel had attended Montreal West High School. At one point when Bower noticed Liebel was looking gaunt, he asked if he was ill -- cancer, perhaps? "It's kind of like cancer," Liebel replied. Bower didn't press. Perhaps Liebel was hinting at his depression. Or maybe he was making a cryptic reference to a recent prostate cancer test. Liebel had learned that his blood contained abnormally high levels of prostate specific antigen, or PSA, which suggested cancer. He was consulting urologists at the time of the conversation. Liebel would later discover it was a false alarm. "Of course, Peter being Peter, he began consulting books on prostate surgery and obsessing over what might be happening to him," said Herczeg. One evening in November, Margot got a call from her ex-husband. Peter told her matter-of-factly he'd taken too many pills. Then he went back to bed. Margot got him to the emergency ward at the Ottawa General campus. His family decided to seek outside help. - On an unseasonably warm, foggy day in late November 2006, Herczeg and Greta escorted Peter into the Homewood Health Centre in Guelph. Peter had not gone willingly, in part because he was concerned others might learn of his depression. But if help was available, it was here. The eight-week session takes place in a dorm-like setting and covers all aspects of depression -- physical health, medicines and lifestyle. "The program is for those who may have been treated in an acute care hospital but aren't getting better," says Homewood CEO Dr. Edgardo Perez, who ran the psychiatric unit of the Ottawa Civic Hospital in the early 1990s. "The main thing with guys is that we don't like to talk about depression and then we get worse and come in late for treatment." Liebel was initially uncomfortable with group therapy. But once he figured out its aim was not to talk about feelings but rather to teach new ways of thinking, he seemed OK. His doctors at Homewood eventually changed his main anti-depression medicine, which helped. "We were convinced he really was on the road to good health when he left Homewood," said Susan. "He was full of good humour, attentive and very aware of the fact he needed balance in his life -- physical exercise, family life and a spiritual dimension." Liebel returned to work in Ottawa in February. Colleagues were told he'd dealt with an illness and was ready once more to market Dundee. It's easy in hindsight to see that his recovery was tentative. Plus he was returning to a city where he was mostly on his own. His immediate family was now concentrated in Toronto, his daughter was planning to travel to South Korea and his best friend, Martin Heppner, was estranged. He and Margot had separated years earlier. And while she kept in close touch, she had her own life. Even Croft, Liebel's longtime assistant, had retired for good. They all visited frequently and talked Liebel through increasingly dire episodes. It's difficult to see how the family could have done more during the final weeks. Herzceg, a tall, easy-going native of Budapest, runs a one-person technology and management consulting company from Toronto. Because he is self-employed, Herczeg was able to adjust his work schedule to suit Liebel. Herczeg also knew many of his brother-in-law's clients. The two men had much in common and spoke frequently. As Liebel's depression deepened, the phone calls -- hourly during the worst of times -- dominated his day. Herczeg expended enormous energy trying to keep his brother-in-law up. When Liebel's moods deteriorated, Herczeg packed his bags and headed to Ottawa for weeks at a time. His relief was huge when Liebel emerged from Homewood in January a seemingly healthy man. Yet in February, Liebel confided to his sister that he was slipping. The mental fog had returned. Twice in March, Peter attempted suicide. The latest anti-depression meds weren't working. Although we can't know the horror of his mind, it may be exemplified by another CEO who planned suicide but did not follow through. Philip Burguieres, head of a U.S. investment management company, recently told The Times of London about the onset of his own depression. "I was a person who never failed," he said, "It was the greatest Catch-22. I couldn't function and on the other hand, I couldn't let go. I couldn't think of a way out. So I started thinking illogical things like, 'If I wasn't here any more.'" For Herczeg, these words offered a flash of recognition. "Those are exactly the kinds of thoughts Peter expressed," he said. (Fully recovered, Burguieres is now an informal confessor to what he says is a secret network of depressed CEOs too afraid of the stigma to come forward. He estimates one in four CEOs experiences the symptoms at least once in their lives.) On Friday, April 13, Herczeg called 911. Another overdose. When the medics arrived, they checked cupboards, drawers and other crannies. "There were bottles of pills everywhere," said Herczeg, "He'd been hiding them." It's possible Liebel had not been taking the anti-depressant drugs -- perhaps concerned about side-effects or impatient at how long it was taking for them to kick in. Perhaps he'd stockpiled pills with suicide in mind. After Liebel's journey to the Ottawa Hospital's Civic campus emergency entrance, he was admitted to the psychiatric wing. When Susan and her husband visited Peter on April 16, they "didn't know whether to laugh or cry." The ward held nearly 50 patients, many wandering in a catatonic state. Several were screaming. In the kitchen area, they were greeted by a patient with his rear end exposed. Peter seemed somewhat bemused. Although he was suffering from serious depression, it seemed minor by comparison. During his final year, Liebel encountered many roadblocks. He had been trying to change his psychiatrist of 10 years only to encounter a six-month waiting list. When his family first checked him into Homewood, he waited only several weeks. But when he contacted Homewood to re-enrol, the wait list was four months long. "Homewood provides discharge plans for every patient," said Dr. Perez. "These plans include recommendations for followup in the patient's home community with a health-care professional. However, we recognize there is a need for specialized after-care services which are comprehensive and similar to the clinical approaches used at (Homewood). This is often an issue." Peter's mother, Greta, enquired about a program at Toronto's Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, but the waiting times were lengthy. And so Peter spent April 17 -- his 56th birthday -- in the Civic campus's psychiatric ward. Told that Peter would spend another week on the ward, his sister and brother-in-law returned to Toronto. But the next day, Greta called with stunning news: Peter was to be released that day -- he was no longer thought a threat to himself. He was instructed to enroll in the Civic's day program. Greta says the physician suggested Peter could fend for himself and told her to return to Toronto. Instead, Greta, who was furious with the advice, moved into her son's house. On April 23, Peter started the day program that included group therapy. One group member later told Susan that Peter often read his BlackBerry or sent messages during sessions. Peter did not meet with a psychiatrist under the day program until April 27 -- the day before he disappeared. The psychiatrist learned that Peter was anxious to change his anti-depression medicine. Discharge notes from the hospital relating to the March suicide attempt show that Peter was taking six separate medicines simultaneously -- anti-psychotics, muscle relaxants, sleeping tablets and two types of anti-depressants. It's impossible to draw definitive conclusions about what was intended by the mix -- assuming the drugs were prescribed by the same doctor. "It appears to me that there were too many medications involved," concluded Dr. Perez, making it clear he was not commenting on Liebel's drug regime but on the general case. The Civic's day program physician evidently drew a similar conclusion. He told Peter the switch could take place the following week. "They decided the medication approach they had taken was completely wrong," says Herczeg. "It was going to take a month to drain the old stuff out of his system and get the new drugs working." On April 28, Peter had a down morning, though it's not clear why. Often there is no direct trigger. Peter's family had convinced him his health was more important than work. He had submitted his resignation and was negotiating the details. Dundee declined to comment on this point, other than to confirm Peter was still an employee at the end of April. According to Susan, Peter was concerned he'd lose access to Dundee's hospitality suite, which is why he purchased a pair of Senators tickets online to take Sarah to the April 30 playoff game. On April 28, Greta was busy making lunch for her son when she noticed the silence. Fearing the worst, she called Margot. Her former daughter-in-law arrived about 20 minutes later and the women called the police. Throughout the weekend, the police hunted -- every hour adding to the worry. Although Peter had tried to kill himself previously, he'd never before disappeared in his car. The Ottawa Police Service issued a bulletin at midnight April 28, seeking the public's help. They would only say Liebel's well-being was at issue. Throughout the weekend, Susan called frequently from Toronto, anxious for news. When she finally booked her flight to Ottawa, she selected an arrival time that would coincide with the discovery of Peter's SUV. The time stamp on Peter's parking arcade ticket revealed less than an hour passed from the time he left home until he pulled into an airport parking slot. Susan arrived in Ottawa at 10:15 a.m. on the Monday. "When I landed, I was thinking 'Did they check the airport?'" she recalls. "They must have been doing it when I was there." Three hours later, two constables -- "right out of Law and Order" -- arrived at Peter's house with news the family had been both dreading and half-expecting. Five days after Peter went missing, several hundred well wishers gathered in the chapel of Hulse, Playfair & McGarry's downtown funeral home. The crowd contained pockets from Finance, the Privy Council Office, the Bank of Canada, Ottawa high tech and Toronto's Bay Street. "Peter would have been surprised by how many showed up," said Susan. Old friends paid their respects, including Martin Heppner, his estranged chum from Montreal West High. Early this year, Heppner had sent Peter a letter suggesting they forget old issues and get together. The letter was found, opened, on Peter's desk. On Friday and Saturday, the Liebels and Herczegs welcomed visitors to Peter's house. The place was neat as a pin. Family members conducted conversations on automatic pilot, the grief just under the surface. In the case of Greta, who had now lost a son along with a husband, the injustice seemed truly disproportionate. The quiet chatter in the house touched often on people's surprise at Peter's depression -- and on the eloquence of his sister's eulogy. "People need to be able to talk about mental illness openly without fear of shame and rejection," Susan had said at the funeral. "We as a family provided him with so much support and encouragement. Sadly, it was not enough." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

Depression by the numbers The Ottawa Citizen Published: Sunday, September 30, 2007 27.6 million: Number of prescriptions Canadian pharmacies issued last year for anti-depressants, according to IMS Health Canada. That's more than any other therapeutic class of drugs including cholesterol reducers. 40: Per cent increase in the number of prescriptions from 2002. 22.2 million: Number of prescriptions for tranquilizers filled last year. 4,000: Number of Canadians who commit suicide each year. 2,000: Estimated number of Canadians who commit suicide each year who are suffering from depression. The medical community is convinced that with early acknowledgement and therapy, most of these victims can be saved. 200: The number of mental health conditions listed in the medical professions' standard diagnostic bible. 4: For major depressive disorders, there are four classes of symptoms: affective (feelings of worthlessness); behavioral (social withdrawal); physical (insomnia or sleeping too much); and cognitive (difficulty concentrating or making decisions). In many instances, including Liebel's, it's not clear what causes the symptoms. Sufferers have been shown to have lower levels of brain chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine, normally associated with good feelings. But what triggers the reductions is a matter of conjecture. Patterns of thinking?? Physical trauma? Faulty genes? Stress? Complicating matters is the fact that a similar set of circumstances can produce very different outcomes, with one sibling appearing perfectly normal while the other exhibits severe depression. 1 in 10: Number of teenagers and adults who experience depression serious enough to warrant treatment. Treatments usually involve a mix of drugs aimed at increasing the amount of serotonin and other chemicals in the brain, and personal therapy. In the mid-1980s, the pharmaceutical industry unveiled a group of anti-depressant drugs that exhibited fewer side effects -- such as nausea -- than first-generation medicines. The most commonly used drugs today include Effexor, Celexa, Paxil and Wellbutrin -- household names for millions of Canadians. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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What causes autism? The answer is hotly debated -- scientists even disagree whether it's on the rise or not. With no agreement on what causes it, writes Tom Spears, doctors disagree on how to treat it Tom Spears, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Sunday, September 30, 2007 As soon as doctors identified autism, back in the 1940s, they blamed the "cold" mothers of toddlers with the disorder. Early theory said that these mothers -- doctors actually called them "refrigerator mothers" -- withheld affection from their babies with terrible results. No one believes that today. But science is still struggling to narrow down the list of theories about what does cause this baffling disorder. Just this summer, two Pittsburgh professors suggested the brain cells of people with autism aren't connected in the same way as everyone else's. While each area of an autistic brain looks normal, the Pittsburgh professors wrote in a journal called Brain, different areas are missing connections. They can't talk to each other. And that's a new possible biological basis for a disease whose cause -- or, more likely, causes -- are hotly debated. "There's a lot of disagreement among autism practitioners and researchers about just what it is," says psychologist David Wilder of Florida Institute of Technology. "The consensus would be that it's at least in part genetically determined. I think there's consensus on that. But beyond that -- no." One theory, particularly widespread in Britain, but now fading, has been that a combined vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella, or MMR, causes autism. (Tens of thousands of British parents wouldn't let their children get the MMR vaccine since the late-1990s. Now there are clusters of measles outbreaks in Britain. Measles in young children is sometimes fatal.) The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the U.S. tells parents: "The weight of currently available scientific evidence does not support the hypothesis that vaccines cause autism." But it leaves the door open a crack by adding: "We recognize there is considerable public interest in this issue, and therefore support additional research regarding this hypothesis." MMR just won't go away as a theory, Dr. Wilder notes. "As time goes on, people are less and less confident that that's a trigger, but ... some people still do advocate for it." There's talk of water or air pollutants. (A cluster of autism cases in New Jersey seems to be centred in a region full of industrial toxins.) As well, public health statistics in Texas show that the largest increase in rates of autism took place in counties that also have the largest discharges of industrial waste, mainly from refineries and petrochemicals. It's not proof, but it's a red flag. The theory doesn't take away from the role of genetics. Rather, it suggests that genes make some children susceptible, and environmental chemicals trigger the genes to do something harmful. Other factors come in, too. A 2006 study in Israel found that men over 40 are nearly six times as likely to father an autistic child as those under the age of 30. Meanwhile, the number of children identified with the disorder is growing. Before 1990, the rate was believed to be about three or four in every 10,000 children. Today's estimates run from one in 500 to one in 167. This sudden change sparks a debate all its own. "Certainly, there are more kids being diagnosed ... than there were years ago. But we're not even sure that there are really more kids with the disorder now," Dr. Wilder says. "It may be a diagnosis issue. "Certainly," he adds, "people would disagree on that." Dr. Wilder's main business is treating children with autism. With no agreement on a cause of the disease, he says, it's hard to argue for or against various treatments. Some people believe vitamins should be used, he notes. Some want pressurized oxygen chambers to push more oxygen into the children's brains. Some want chelation -- using chemicals to remove metals, such as lead and mercury, from the bloodstream. "There's probably no one cause for this," he says. "In fact, I think we're going to find out that what we call autism is really a whole range of disorders." This would explain the "huge range of variability," from children with subtle gaps in their social skills to those who can't talk and injure themselves. Patients (and drug makers) often hope to find The Gene -- one gene that's entirely responsible for a disease. But heart disease probably combines the effect of dozens of genes with diet, exercise and smoking. And autism is currently believed to involve from a dozen to as many as 100 genes, each with some effect, but none responsible alone. This is a booming time for scientists tracking those genes, says Peter Szatmari, director of the Offord Centre for Child Studies at McMaster University. He teaches psychiatry, behavioural neurosciences and pediatrics at the Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine. Three or four autism-related genes have been recently discovered and more are sure to come, he says. All of those found so far are involved in synapses -- the "architecture" of how neurons connect. Nail down the responsible genes and diagnosis can take place years earlier than it does today. "The earlier the intervention, the better the outcome." Others echo this need for faster identification. "Introducing behavioural interventions even one year earlier can make a tremendous difference in the lives of children with autism, and their families," said Dr. Rebecca Landa, director of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders at the Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore. "If we are able to educate professionals to identify red flags in development, we can then recognize and diagnose the disorder at one-and-a-half or two years of age, instead of three or four, allowing for earlier intervention and, ultimately, better outcomes." Dr. Szatmari has seen the number of cases shoot upward, but doesn't believe a toxic environment is suddenly producing far more cases than in the past. He thinks they've always been there, undiagnosed. "When I came to work here at Chedoke (Hospital, in Hamilton), there were like five kids who had a diagnosis of autism. "I started to see other kids who had other diagnoses. But when I applied the more up-to-date criteria, all those kids had autism. In the old days, they had mental retardation, childhood schizophrenia, learning disabilities, obsessive-compulsive disorder. They just weren't being recognized as having autism. Now we've got 400 or 500 kids with the diagnosis." But many researchers strongly believe autism is spreading at a rate higher than improved diagnosis alone can explain. These include Dr. Brian MacFabe of the University of Western Ontario. "You're looking at increased incidence of the disease, particularly in the past 10 years," he says. That's an indicator of difference in environmental conditions, he argues, because the human race's genes don't change that fast. A clue that environment is part of the key to autism: Identical twins, born with the same genes, may have differences -- either one with autism and one without, or the two showing different levels of autism. (In Hamilton, Dr. Szatmari uses the same example of twins to support the opposite argument -- that identical twins are more likely than non-identical twins to share autism, and that genetics is far more important than environmental effects.) Dr. MacFabe's own route of inquiry focuses on what we eat, and especially what drugs we take as young children. A major clue that popped out was that a sizeable minority of children seem fine for about two or three years. They're social, happy and learning language. Then their parents report a sudden change. The toddlers stop speaking, stop interacting with others, all in a matter of days or weeks. Dr. MacFabe wonders if it's something that came from the doctor's office -- not likely MMR vaccine, but antibiotics for those endless childhood infections. Antibiotics can dramatically change the balance of the "friendly" bacteria in the digestive system, which digest food and also balance the immune system. And autistic children often have digestive problems -- diarrhea or constipation. "Some families also report their children (with autism) have weird food interests, craving carbohydrates." As well, some find that changing diet improves the system, often when they abandon milk products and wheat. The link between the gut and the brain, he believes, could be a type of chemical that's produced by some intestinal bacteria as they break down carbohydrates, called a short-chain fatty acid. These compounds could represent a link, he believes, between the bacteria in the digestive system and what's happening in the brain. He gave a common fatty acid to rats, and they quickly developed autistic symptoms. "What we found that was interesting was that the behaviours only happened when the compound was in the rats." Once the rats burned up this compound, they went back to normal behaviour -- until the next injection. Then they became even more sensitive to the chemical. "It may be a possible link." But the experiments are in adult rats only, not in human children. And medical research is full of drugs that cure or control cancer and other disease in lab animals, but not in people. "It's such a loaded thing," he cautions. He doesn't want parents to withhold antibiotics from their children. Autism is a complex disorder, he notes, "and you can have tunnel vision in only looking at one thing." But he feels his research is validation of the idea that some form of "gut problem" is involved in autism. "These kids are, in the vernacular, sick. Their bodies are sick." And if so, "then these diseases are potentially treatable or preventable." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

Doctor says disorder must be seen 'as a medical illness' Roger Collier, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Sunday, September 30, 2007 When her son, Patrick, was diagnosed with autism more than four years ago, Wendy Edwards, a southern Ontario pediatrician, reviewed the science about the disorder, which seemed to indicate there was no treatment. Patrick, then three years old, would stare at toys for hours, ignoring the people around him, and sometimes flap his arms or walk in circles. At first, Dr. Edwards felt there was nothing she could do to help him. "Then I let the mother in me take over," she said. Dr. Edwards, along with Derrick MacFabe, director of an autism research group at the University of Western Ontario, and Martha Herbert, a professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School, were the featured speakers at "Autism: A Medical Condition," a conference presented by the Autism Canada Foundation at the University of Ottawa yesterday. Their message: autism is a full-body condition, and not limited to the brain. "The paradigm of autism is changing," said Dr. Edwards. "This needs to be viewed as a medical illness." In additional to the popular behaviour therapies, such as IBI (intensive behaviour intervention), Dr. Edwards says people should consider biomedical treatments. When parents ask her to help their autistic children, Dr. Edwards' advice sometimes catches them by surprise. "I insist that parents work on helping the gut first," she said. Autistic children have "skewed" immune systems, Dr. Edwards said, which means that viruses and fungi in the stomach cannot be handled properly. This leads to inflammation in the digestive tract. As a result, the immune system releases chemicals called cytokines, which reach the brain and can affect mood, sleep, appetite, memory, learning and social interaction. A gluten- and casein-free diet, said Dr. Edwards, may reduce immune system reactions that lead to inflammation. She also recommended ridding the digestive tract of unwanted bacteria, fungi and viruses by using supplements such as garlic, cranberry, oregano oil, grapefruit seed extract and olive leaf extract. Dr. Edwards admitted that her approach to treating autism does not yet have solid scientific backing. But sometimes, she said, waiting for a conclusive study is not the best approach. "Why not do what we feel is working while we wait for the study to prove or disprove it ... if we're not out there doing all these things and telling the researchers, 'What about this?' the research won't get done." Dr. Edwards also recommended ridding the body of toxins with antioxidants like Vitamin C, taurine and carnosine. Parents of autistic children should also avoid using toxic cleaners in their homes, she said. Autistic children also have trouble sleeping, said Dr. Edwards, which may be hurting their overall health. She recommended parents try melatonin to help their children sleep better and said that it may have other biochemical benefits, as it is also an antioxidant. Dr. Edwards said her son, who is now seven, has improved remarkably since she adopted these practices. His verbal skills are excellent, he makes eye contact and last June he graduate at the top of his Grade 1 class. "Not all children will recover all the way, but many, and in fact most, will improve to some degree with this treatment." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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I went cycling to the Champlain Lookout of the Gatineau Park for the 10th time this year, the last time for this season. Thanks to the ground flaxseeds, it took me 1 hour and 50 minutes to go up there, and 1 hour and 40 minutes to come back in a longer route, both non-stop.

Since I started buying flaxseeds 3 months ago, I have consumed 6 containers (0.280 kg each). Each container costs $1.99 CAD at a local supermarket.

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The Familiar Four Walls So, today I had an appointment with my psychologist. I am usually scheduled to see him about every eight weeks. However, due to my unpredictable schedule the past few months, it had been a while since I had seen him. It was much needed! It was strange though, today. Even though it has been a little over three years since my last hospitalization - I was flooded with memories. It is very hard for me to remember each and every of the eight (or was it nine?) visits. But some stick out, for sure. The one I remember the most (other than the very first), was the one right after my overdose. A lot of people have asked me what brought me to the brink. Well, it wasn't just a single thing...it was more like an impressive accumulation of several years of complete depsair. I mean, really, a person can only take so much. I had hidden it all so very well. The deep depressive feelings, the bulimia, the anxiety and, of course, the countless suicidal thoughts. I am not sure I know too many people (with depression) who admit to the way they are feeling. Why? STIGMA. Wow. It is so devastating to realize that we continue to shun and judge those who suffer. Really, to be honest, it angers me. But, today, it is still the reality. Those familiar four walls that were home to me for a total of about 27 weeks (off and on over three years) serve to remind me that if there is any one reason why I continue to write this blog and share my story every chance I can - it's to break the stigma. I think a huge part of the problem has to do with complacency. So, I propose the question: Where would we be if we viewed diabetes, or heart disease, or cancer this way? I think you know that answer as well as I do. Thanks has to be given to Prime Minister Harper for making the (much needed and eagerly awaited) Canadian Mental Health Commission (finally) get off the ground. And, on a personal note...my THANKS goes out to Senator Michael Kirby (Kirby Report), former Finance Minister and now US Ambassador Michael Wilson (a Champion), MPP Richard Patten and Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty (each of you playing a critical role in seeing the building of the new Royal Ottawa Hospital come to fruition). All of you have proved your unwavering committment to promoting and furthering an admirable level of support for the cause - in these specific things you have all done. Stay tuned.....HRH Posted Monday, October 01, 2007 4:43 PM by Heather Hennigar | 0 Comments

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I saw ex-Senator Michael Kirby, now Commissioner of the Canadian Mental Health Commission, at the Ottawa International Airport (YOW). Unfortunately, I was not able to speak with him as he was already leaving with his family members.

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The silent victim Ottawa couple tackles depression at upcoming seminar Article online since October 5th 2007, 12:00 Be the first to comment this article It is a story that too many Canadians know all too well. Sharon Lowell described herself as a "troubled child" with emotions that didn't seem to affect others. "I had conflict within my emotions and within my mind that didn't seem to affect other children. I had some rocky times," she said. After a troubled first marriage, she found herself a single mom trying to survive. After a series of bad decisions, she eventually began contemplating suicide. "I thought that life wasn't working for me, I wasn't good at life. All I felt was darkness and agony," she said. She began having panic attacks, sweats and flashbacks. In order to survive and make money for her children, she said she suppressed everything she was feeling. In the middle of this she met Steve Lowell, who she dated for two years and eventually married. "While we were dating, there were no major signs I could spot," Steve said. "We got married on Oct. 24 and on Oct. 25, she was a totally different person.... I remember driving back in the van from Chatham, Ont. where we were married, thinking to myself, who is this person sitting beside me? The fun Sharon I had fallen in love with wasn't there anymore." He said Sharon didn't come back for another six years. What followed was Sharon's struggle with severe depression, anxiety, sleep disorder and obsessive spending, and Steve's struggle with the family's finances. The couple eventually lost their home, their life's savings and ended up over $150,000 in debt, all due to mental illness. Today, now that they have successfully emerged from the other side of the struggle, an extreme rarity for circumstances like theirs, the Lowells' have decided to share their painful story and encourage others who may face the same issues. They will host a three-hour program for those dealing with mental health issues and their loved ones titled Victory for the Silent Victim on Monday, Oct. 15 at the Minto Suites Hotel in Ottawa. In the seminar, Steve, who still runs a successful high tech consulting business out of his home, will explain his story and teach audience members how to cope with the issues families dealing with depression face. One of the major hurdles many people with mental illness face is financial difficulties. Although many hold down well-paid jobs, a key factor for most of these people is a strong support network of family and friends, according to the Canadian Mental Health Association. Sharon was able to work from home as a music teacher, but she said her illness was so bad she would often do nothing but lie in bed in between lessons. Many other people with mental health issues are forced to leave the workforce. Denise Workun, a lawyer from Nelligan O'Brien Payne in Ottawa, said she frequently advises clients who are off work due to mental health issues. She said the difficulty these clients face is that most disability insurers are not geared to deal with long-term mental health issues. "With most disability insurance contracts, in order to be eligible for benefits, you have to be under the regular care of a physician in the mental health realm. But it is often difficult to access medical treatment because there is a lack of psychiatrists in the National Capital region," she said. Workun said she often sees disability insurance companies cut off benefits because employees are not under the care of a medical doctor. She said even if employees find proper help, it can take years and many doctors to find the right treatment, something many insurers don't accept. "So people are put in the situation where they have to decide to take medicine even though they react badly to it, or risk losing their disability insurance benefits," said Workun. That can lead to financial ruin for even the most comfortable middle class family. The objective of the three hour seminar is to help those with a depressed loved one to better understand depression and the behaviours associated with it, and to provide them with a plan of action. "We know we can't heal depression and anxiety, that's not our goal." said Steve. "Our goal is to help people take their life back when it's being torn apart by the destructive forces of a loved-one's mental illness." -- By Julie Fortier For more information about the Oct. 15 seminar, go to www.silentvictimseminar.com

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Simon

An Answer to a Friend Today's blog is being dedicated to a friend who is at a definitive cross road. Last week she was asking me about medication and what my thoughts are about being medicated for my depression. In her specific case, she is very reluctant to go on another anti-depressant. You see, her experience in the past has not been pleasant, when it comes to taking meds and the way they make her feel. So, I have given it much thought. You can't force anyone to go on medication. But I do know this, for sure: it has changed my life completely. I know, it is terribly frustrating to try and try different meds and never feeling like they are working. I was on countless meds before we found the magic combination. And, yes, I did give up a couple of times. So, this is where I plead with my friend. As I sit along the sidelines, seeing you frustrated, sad, depressed and at the end of that proverbial rope, my plea with you is to try the medication route. You know that I know exactly how you are feeling because I've been in your shoes. I have walked that melancholy road a hundred times. No, it's not easy...it's like being in hell. You have nothing to lose; only to gain. There is no other way to say this: You need to make the "choice". And please know....you are not alone in any of this. My support is unwaivering no matter what. But if taking a pill or two every day turns your life around.....is that not worth it? Stay tuned.....HRH Posted Tuesday, October 09, 2007 4:57 PM by Heather Hennigar | 4 Comments

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Simon

Hope in the dark There may be no such thing as a miracle cure, but don't tell Autumn Stringam. The Alberta mother won a life-or-death battle with bipolar disorder thanks to a controversial and unlikely treatment. In a new book, she chronicles her journey from madness to mental health We never know what we will inherit from our parents: Green eyes? Maybe athleticism. Or perhaps, a fractured mind. Shelley Page, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Sunday, October 14, 2007 Autumn Stringam grew up in small town Alberta with a mother who had undiagnosed bipolar affective disorder. With no words to describe their mother's condition, the kids knew her either as Angry Mom or Dark Mom. The children -- they were a brood of 10 -- never knew which one they'd encounter. Stringam preferred Angry Mom, as she explains in her new memoir called A Promise of Hope: The Astonishing True Story of a Woman Afflicted with Bipolar Disorder and the Miraculous Treatment That Cured Her. "She was better than the mom who slumped down the stairs to take in the destruction with dull hooded eyes, her shoulders rounding toward her chest, her belly slumping forward over her hips. This mom did not talk, let alone sing. Her empty eyes said she might never sing again." Stringam's mother Debora was 40 when she committed suicide, just as Stringam's grandfather had done. Stringam vowed she'd never become like her mother. But then she did. She was 20, already the mother of a baby boy, when her mom killed herself. By then, Stringam, too, had been hospitalized and medicated. Importantly, she had also been diagnosed. Finally there was a name for the "mood swings" and "behaviour problems" that stalked the family. Stringam's book on her family's mental illness -- her 15-year-old brother Joseph was also stricken -- is a beautifully written, achingly sad account of her mother's shattered life and its echoes in her wounded children. That the book was written at all is almost a miracle. For how could Stringam, who needed a five-drug cocktail to quiet her mind, emerge from the muddiness to write anything, let alone something so poignant? This book tells that story, too. Stringam's dad, Anthony Stephan, dedicated himself to finding a treatment that would prevent his daughter and son from committing suicide. In the end, he and hog-feed salesman David Hardy developed a controversial nutritional supplement that saved his children and is now used by thousands of mentally ill people around the world. Stringam, 34, bright-eyed and mentally clear, is now travelling the country to publicize her book. She knows that each time she opens her mouth, she'll be invited to wade into the controversy about Truehope, the company founded by her father, and Empowerplus, the nutritional supplement that it sells. Just as there are thousands of supporters -- many of whom credit their health to these supplements -- there are others dedicated to discrediting Stringam's family and motives. "If you don't trash me in your story, you'll get a letter of complaint from our detractors," Stringam warns. She insists she did not write the book to publicize the product. Instead, she says, she wrote it for her children. "Now that I'm well, I realized they might never know the truth about our family. I don't want them to have stereotypes of mental illness, I want them to see mentally ill people as real." When her family was in Halifax recently, they passed a homeless man outside a Tim Hortons. Stringam explained to her children that the man was mentally ill and deserving of compassion and generosity. One of her daughters reached for the loonie in her pocket. Instead, Stringam suggested buying the man a meal. After asking him his name and chatting, they offered the food. "I want them to see the humanity in those who aren't as fortunate as me," says Stringam. Her 14-year-old son has read the book and now understands the intergenerational effects of mental illness. "I think he has finally forgiven me." She struggled to find a positive memory of her mother. In one of the first passages she wrote post-recovery, Stringam writes of a moment in the garden on their acreage. "I see my mother moving in slow motion. At times my view is misty, like the view through a steamy window or a fine rain ... Her slim legs, full breasts and rounded tummy speak of motherhood and God's grace -- the kind of beauty you find only in a woman about to give life to another soul." The moment is fleeting. Soon the children -- there were six of them then, including a baby without even a diaper bag -- are shooed into the family Bronco. Not by Angry Mom or Dark Mom, writes Stringam, but by someone else entirely: "Strange, apathetic. She is blank, empty, spent, a breath exhaled for too long." The Bronco heads toward the Peace River. "I hear her voice, robotic, flat, but certain," writes Stringam. "It's time," her mother says. The Bronco lurches. "No, Mom, please, no, please, please, please," young Stringam screams. "I can see the river's muddy edge. I can see the roiling waters of the Peace River, wide and swift." The Bronco plunges into the river. "It pulses darkly against the tires, rocking us inside, slapping up against the doors, nudging at the Bronco, licking, lapping, waiting, waiting." And next her mother melts in sobs over the steering wheel. She can't go through with it -- she can't keep driving into the river. Stringam carried the memory with her, but had no sense of what it was like to want to die until falling into a severe depression during her first pregnancy. Like her mother, Stringam was a teenage bride, marrying Dana Stringam, a kind-hearted, calm young man, who had no idea. Before long, he had a pregnant wife who emerged from darkness only to become a paranoid, arm-flapping, face-scratching subhuman consumed by the urge to stab herself in the belly. Stringam was convinced she had a gaping hole in her chest from which demons emerged. She was always afraid. She saw faces staring at her from mirrors and showered with her clothes on so she couldn't be seen. She was so afraid of the faces that she used the kitchen sink as a toilet. She gave birth to her son, then she ignored him and fantasized about ending her life. "Three years of my absenteeism while he was at my very side," she writes in A Promise of Hope. "Three years of his wondering if he could ever be interesting enough or valiant enough or good enough or bad enough to catch my gaze without catching the back of my hand. Oh, Little Boy Blue, I am so, so sorry." All this time, Stringam's father was racing to save his daughter. His research into the causes of mental illness was going nowhere. During a chance encounter with David Hardy in November 1995, Anthony Stephan confided that his wife had committed suicide, his daughter was in a psychiatric hospital and his son was angry and aggressive and prone to violence. Hardy knew little about mental illness, but said he'd seen similar outbursts in pigs that were cured easily with doses of vitamins and minerals. The men set out to create a human version of the pig formula. They spent nights at Stephan's kitchen table mixing concoctions from ingredients from the local health food store. On Jan. 20, 1996, Joseph received the first bitter-tasting dose. Within days, he began to feel better. After 30 days, his symptoms were gone. Next Stephan turned to his daughter, now under 24-hour supervision to ensure she didn't hurt herself or her three-year-old. After two days on the nutritional formula, her rapid mood swings and depression began to lift. On Day 4, the hallucinations vanished. By the end of the week, she'd quit all but one of her five medications. More than a decade later, both children are symptom free and continue to take their supplements, as do Stringam's children. And so do thousands of others, which is where the problems began. Hardy and Stephan spread news of their discovery, naively convinced it would be embraced. While many ill people tried it and some claimed success, others did not. The men were dismissed by scientists whom they invited to study the mixture. In 2000, the men went to speak with doctors at Harvard University's McLean Hospital. Dr. Bonnie Kaplan, a research psychologist at the University of Calgary, joined the pair to share findings from her small but hopeful study on the supplement. Dr. Charles Popper, Harvard's acclaimed child psychiatrist, was at the talk. Although highly skeptical, he reluctantly accepted a bottle. By coincidence, he received a call that night from a psychiatrist whose son had suddenly developed bipolar disorder and was throwing violent, hours-long tantrums. Dr. Popper needed to visit the boy to get a full reading of the symptoms. In the meantime, he wanted to give the child something that was unlikely to do anything and yet would reassure the panicked parents. According to testimony he would later give in a 2006 trial over the sale of the supplement, he told the parents about this "really strange treatment." He explained his concerns about off-the-wall claims that it would treat 80 per cent of bipolar patients and that improvements would appear within five days. Four days later, the parents called to say that their son's tantrums had stopped. Fourteen days later, the child was bright, articulate, sensitive. But when the bottle ran out, he became manic and angry again until they could secure more supplements. Dr. Popper started to give Empowerplus to patients who had not done well on psychotropic drugs. Three studies published between 2001 and 2004 by Kaplan found significant improvements on 22 adults and children with bipolar or other mood problems. Dr. Popper reported similar results in 19 patients, as did another American psychiatrist. But none of this research so far has involved blind, controlled trials -- the gold standard in testing -- in which the effects of the treatment would be compared to those of a placebo or another treatment. Stringam's book details her father's battles with Health Canada. After trying to halt sales, the government agency charged Truehope with selling a drug without approval. Relying heavily on testimony by Drs. Kaplan and Popper, an Alberta provincial court judge found the company not guilty. Truehope has also been targeted by Dr. Terry Polevoy, a Kitchener-based dermatologist who runs HealthWatcher.net, a website that crusades against unproven remedies. Today the supplement is legally available in Canada. And yet Health Canada is not satisfied with what is known about the supplement. Earlier this year, it warned it has received nine reports of serious adverse reactions in users. Patients saw a spike in their psychiatric symptoms, possibly because they switched from regular drugs to the vitamin-mineral mixture, the department said. Stringam's father fired back, pointing out that the supplement had prevented many suicides and noting that most pharmaceutical drugs that target mental illness generate far more adverse reaction reports. Stringam writes with detachment about these battles, which were being fought while she was trying to build a new life with her husband, new babies and son. She realized that without the supplement, she would lose herself to the demons. So when called upon, she gave speeches about her experience. In the afterword to Stringam's book, Dr. Popper writes with cautious optimism about "a daring new approach to treating mental illness." He confirms controlled scientific studies of Empowerplus are in the works, though results will take years. "It would be a mistake to enthusiastically rush to use this treatment," he writes, "and it would be a mistake to off-handedly dismiss it." He acknowledges that people with bipolar disorder should exercise "caution and balance in reacting to the initial observations on this seemingly promising approach." And he honours the contribution of Stringam and her family. "(They) have conveyed to us their hope -- hope that new treatments can be found, hope that tragedy can be made temporary, hope that we can work together to make new things happen, and hope that our lives can have impact despite the odds." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Edmonton Man Who Triumphed over Schizophrenia to Receive Order of Canada By Omid Ghoreishi Epoch Times Edmonton Staff Oct 25, 2007 The Order of Canada, the country's greatest civilian honour, is presented to exceptional people who have made a difference with their contributions to society. Dr. Austin Mardon Ph D, is one such Canadian, and on Friday will be among those honoured in the investiture ceremony in Ottawa. A researcher, author, and academic with degrees in geography and education, Mardon has a long history of volunteerism and community involvement. With a number a number of books and publications under his belt, ranging in topic from astronomy to Alberta politics, Mardon was among a group of researchers who explored Antarctica as part of a NASA/NSF-sponsored project. What makes Mardon's accomplishments all the more remarkable is that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1992. However, he continued his academic work and became an advocate for people living with mental illness, helping those with similar problems keep their illness under control. "My attitude is that people think that if they don't have a nice house or nice things they're not well respected, they're not worthwhile, but I don't care about that stuff. What I really care about is trying to make a contribution in some small way to society. You don't get paid for that, but my attitude in life is not defined by money," says Mardon. This approach, along with the aid of medication, are what enabled him to live a "somewhat normal" life, he says. "I still have the symptoms, but they're well under control, and I try to live a stress-less life. I live a very simple life." While he experiences periods of paranoia, anxiety and fear, Mardon says he's "learned some techniques to adapt to that." He has also learned how to ignore the voices in his head, and knows how to resist the "lure" of hallucination. "The voices are kind of random, they're sometimes male voices, sometimes female voices…sometimes they make sense. It's like a conversation inside your head, but I've learned to disregard the voices, it's like white noise now, I just ignore them completely." What bothers Mardon the most is that his mind has been "slowed-down" by the illness; he is not able to write or think as well as he did before, when he was able to focus better and write much more. Now, he has to "cut things up into smaller bites." "It also affects you in terms of your ability to communicate…I tend to be more verbal and not take up on body language, which being married might be a problem," he says with a chuckle. He is a board member for the Edmonton-based The Champion's Centre, a non-profit Christian charity dedicated to providing supportive housing for people who face significant barriers to independent living. Mardon is an active volunteer with the Schizophrenia Society of Alberta, and has served as a member of their Board of Directors in the past. He has also been the co-chair of Unsung Heroes, a self-support group for people with schizophrenia in Edmonton, and also the founding president of the Prosper Place Clubhouse, a member-driven restorative environment for people with a history of mental illness. "I felt that while I wasn't earning a wage, at least I could pay society back by volunteering and helping out," says Mardon, who makes most of his living from Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped. This year marks the 100th Order of Canada, and the 40th anniversary of the award. The investiture ceremony, presided over by Governor General Michaëlle Jean, will be held in Ottawa on Friday October 26. There are three levels of the Order of Canada: Companion, Officer, and Member. This year, the honour will be bestowed on 12 officers and 28 members. Over the years, more than 5 000 people have been invested into the Order of Canada.

Living with Schizophrenia By Austin Mardon Special to The Epoch Times Oct 25, 2007 People often ask me a simple question: Why, in their eyes, not mine, do I seem to function so well with schizophrenia? My answer is always that I have never consciously decided to quit taking my meds. It was just 15 years ago that I had my first overt psychotic break in Edmonton. It was a cold dreary fall day when I first descended into the dark world of madness. It has been a slow ascent back into the light of sanity. I took a severe, permanent detour from the academic course of my life into a life of service and advocacy for a group that is, to be entirely honest, mostly despised and feared in the main streams of society, and certainly little understood. It is my belief that my willingness to be compliant with my medications comes from two things. The first is the reality of having been a child of five when my mother was first diagnosed with schizophrenia, a mother who still struggles to accept her illness. The second is that I was blessed with the insight to understand and accept to the core of my being that I am, and will remain for the rest of my life, a person with schizophrenia. I believe the lack of this insight and acceptance by many of my peers results in many hospital admissions for patients who were originally stable on their medication regimes. Lack of compliance with medication is such a huge problem for the medical community that it seems most psychotherapy for schizophrenics is for the express purpose of gaining compliance with treatment protocols rather than helping them to deal their new life as a schizophrenic. I don't think that the same thing happens to those that are newly blinded or paralyzed. There the emphasis is on learning to deal with a new reality. A diagnosis of schizophrenia is just as dramatic a diagnosis, if not as visible. Acceptance is a fundamental ideal of many of the world's ancient philosophies and religions and can be a powerful tool. When you accept your destiny, a peace can descend on your existence. I have had to accept the limitations of my reality and work within those limitations to, as my wife says, be as happy and as healthy as I am capable of being. It might not be the life that I dreamed of, or that society or my family expected, but it has become so very fulfilling. Stigma does exist and must be addressed face on. Sadly I know from being a young child of a schizophrenic that most people, even at their best, don't think very highly of us. I get depressed each time I read an article in what seems a constant stream of negative press. I do so enjoy rattling their reality with positive articles about schizophrenia. I believe the only solution for the negativity so common in the media is to have a constant stream of positive news go out highlighting positive achievements. I have found that the media can be approached, positive relationships can be developed, and "good news stories" can get run. My fellow schizophrenics deserve this. It is not easy at times to allow myself to be so public and identifiable as having such a serious mental illness. I can't count how many times, while in the middle of joint research for a paper or abstract, my research partner has abruptly cut off communication because they found out about my illness. I have learned to take such things in stride. The only partner that didn't immediately cut off communication when she found out about my illness was my wife. Her response was, "that's interesting; so what?" I thought maybe she had never heard the word "schizophrenia" and didn't know what it meant. What I didn't know is that she had an extensive background dealing with individuals with mental illness, and has the ability to completely separate me from my disease. When I do something like ask her if she thinks CSIS is bugging the phone, she just says, "no dear, but if you think that, you could spend less time on the phone." When she gives speeches about what it is like to be married to a schizophrenic, that's the first point she always tries to make, that you have to be able to separate the actions caused by the illness from the core of the person. She regards my little idiosyncrasies as just a colourful part of my character. The second thing she always says is that, no, she doesn't have schizophrenia. That's usually the first question people ask her when they meet, and if they don't ask it, it's because they have just assumed she also has it. Such is the stigma that we deal with everyday. A person who would never think of asking the spouse of a deaf person if they could hear, or the spouse of a blind person if they could see, will automatically assume that my wife must have a screw loose to be married to me. This stigma can come in many shapes and guises. When I talk to family members of newly diagnosed individuals, I try to give them comfort in what may be the hardest time they will ever face. I try to stress that while their daughter or son may never be able to lead what most of society considers a "normal" life, they can live a stable, healthy and happy life within the limitations that the illness and their medications allow. I was blessed to be born in a country with a health system that allows me access to state-of-the-art treatments. With each new genre of medication that comes down the pipe, my world, my life, has expanded. The old medicines allowed me to survive. The next wave allowed me function, and the latest medication change has allowed me to thrive. Before my last medication change, I slept for 12-14 hours every day. When I was awake, I had to ingest enormous quantities of coffee to function. When I started Consta, I began to sleep only 7- 8 hours. That means I am awake for 40 hours more a week than I used to be. Imagine that. In addition to being awake more hours, I am actually more "awake" when I am up. That's a cause for celebration, right? What happened in my case was that I upset a bunch of apple carts. My family and friends were used to me being one way, and when my old self - the before I became sick self - began to re-emerge, a lot of people in my life had difficulty with it. My family interpreted my new assertiveness to be aggressiveness. I've even lost some friends along the way. It upset my family so much that they wanted me back on the old medicine. It was a change that happened so abruptly they couldn't easily adjust. You can imagine how hard it was at first for me to adjust. That is challenge we face as we come closer to a cure for this insidious disease. How will we make that jump from living with schizophrenia to just living? Will our support systems be able to survive a cure? Austin Mardon is an academic, author, and researcher, and has been living with schizophrenia for the last 15 years. On Oct. 26 will be invested with the Order of Canada -Canada's highest civilian honour-in Ottawa by the Governor General.

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I wrote both to Steve Lowell of "The silent victim" and to Dr. Austin Mardon of "Living with Schizophrenia". I shared my sad story of a family break-up due to mental illness, and I promptly received their reply.

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I heard on the TV news that chia seeds (Salvia hispanica L.), which is commercially available as Salba™, is "supergrain" that contains even more omega-3 fatty acids than flax seeds.

I found that 100 g of Salba™ is said to contain the same amount of omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids as 800 g of Atlantic salmon, as much calcium (Ca) as 700 ml of milk does, as much fibre as 300 ml of All-Bran cereal, as much iron (Fe) as 1.2 l of raw spinach, as much vegetable protein as 350 ml of kidney beans, as much potassium (K) as 1.5 bananas, and as much vitamin C as 7 oranges! Also, chia seeds's natural antioxidants make them stable, whereas flax seeds quickly become rancid. Like flax seeds, chia seeds are highly hydrophilic, with the ability to hold about 12 times as much water as their own weight.

Comparison between the nutritional label of chia seeds and that of flaxseeds reveals that both seeds have very similar nutritional values. Meanwhile, I found at the supermarket that a bag of whole flaxseeds is $2.49 CAD/kg, which is substantially cheaper than a container of ground flaxseeds at $1.99 CAD/280 g. It will last for more than 1 month even if I eat megadoses of flaxseeds everyday. I just have to chew well. Otherwise, the whole seeds will come out at the other end without their nutrition's being absorbed by the body.

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Brian Smith's killer jailed after border guard attacked U.S. customs officer punched in the face; widow's fears come true Andrew Thomson and Gary Dimmock, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Monday, December 03, 2007 Jeffrey Arenburg, the paranoid schizophrenic who shot and killed a famed Ottawa sportscaster in 1995, is in trouble with the law again after a U.S. border guard was punched in the face last week, CTV reported last night. Mr. Arenburg used a .22 calibre rifle to hunt down Brian Smith, a former NHLer turned CJOH sportscaster, in the parking lot of the TV station on Aug. 1, 1995. Mr. Arenburg was spared prison and instead sent to a mental hospital. He was released last year with no restrictions. Alana Kainz, Mr. Smith's widow, has lived in constant fear that Mr. Arenburg would reoffend. "I knew it would happen eventually," Ms. Kainz said yesterday. "I expected this. I really did." According to U.S border officials, the man they jailed is named Jeffrey Arenburg, born on Dec. 30, 1956. According to Citizen files, the man who killed Brian "Smitty" Smith was born in 1956. Mr. Arenburg is being detained in a Buffalo, New York, jail cell. According to Kevin Corsaro, a U.S. Customs and Border Protection public affairs officer, Mr. Arenburg was flagged after trying to enter the U.S. aboard a commercial bus. Mr. Arenburg said he had planned to shop in the Buffalo area. Once border guards ran his name in the computer system, they realized Mr. Arenburg had been refused entry in the past because of criminal convictions. Moments later, they showed him into an interview room. According to Mr. Corsaro, Mr. Arenburg allegedly lost control and punched a border guard in the face, leaving him with a cut upper lip. Mr. Arenburg was quickly subdued and taken to a jail cell. The officer was taken to hospital. Assaulting a federal officer carries a fine and/or imprisonment up to one year. The border guards will now forward Mr. Arenburg's case to immigration enforcement officials and he will appear in bail court as early as today. Privacy laws prevent the details of those convictions from being released to the public, said Mr. Corsaro. Mr. Arenburg is being detained at the Erie County Holding Center, a maximum security facility in downtown Buffalo that houses 680 inmates, pending criminal prosecution by the U.S. Attorney's office. Born in 1956 in the farming hamlet of Upper Northfield, 100 kilometres southwest of Halifax, Mr. Arenburg was the fourth of five boys. His family raised cattle and sold produce. Mr. Arenburg, a grade school dropout, left the family farm and tried his hand at fishing scallops in Digby, N.S. Years later, he walked into a Nova Scotia radio station and asked to see the manager. He claimed the station was sending out a frequency that broadcast propaganda messages in his head. He then punched the station manager. Three years later, Mr. Arenburg killed Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith was a pro-athlete but really gained fame as a legendary sportscaster in Ottawa at CJOH, now called CTV. Mr. Arenburg was sent to a Penetanguishene mental health centre in 1997 after being found not criminally responsible for shooting Mr. Smith. Mr. Arenburg had already been granted a conditional discharge in May 2004, which required him to report to the centre once a month, take a regular urine test, not consume alcohol or non-medical drugs, not own a weapon, and live in Barrie with his brother. The Ontario Review Board gave Mr. Arenburg an absolute discharge in November 2006, meaning he was free to live where he wanted without restrictions. The board ruled Mr. Arenburg no longer posed a significant risk to the community, had taken his medication faithfully for nine years, and hadn't displayed any aggression or psychotic episodes. He was no longer required to visit a psychiatrist, though the board heard that Mr. Arenburg had found a doctor in Barrie and realized his need for continued care. He was volunteering two days a week for the Canadian Red Cross, and planned to find work in Alberta and be closer to his daughter. However, the review board's final report suggested there was a 24-per-cent chance he would offend again within 10 years of release. The Crown and Mr. Smith's widow opposed the full discharge, wondering how the mental health centre could change its opinion on Mr. Arenburg's risk level from a similar hearing in 2005. "Once he's out of the system, he's out of the system," Ms. Kainz, a former Citizen reporter, said yesterday. "I think the review board has some questions to answer." Neither Mr. Arenburg's brother nor James Lunnie, the Midland lawyer who handled his review hearing, could be reached for comment yesterday. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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I'm not 'hearing voices' again, Arenburg says Killer jailed in border assault insists he's not ill Lee Greenberg, Andrew Thomson, and Bruce Ward, The Ottawa Citizen, With Files From Gary Dimmock Published: Tuesday, December 04, 2007 The man whose inner voices compelled him to gun down an Ottawa sportscaster says an incident that landed him in a U.S. jail -- and facing a potential 20-year sentence -- was not prompted by mental illness. On a day when the Ontario Review Board faced questions about granting him an absolute discharge last year, Jeffrey Arenburg, 50, appeared tired and unkempt when he was visited by a Citizen reporter yesterday at the Erie County Holding Center in downtown Buffalo. He said a felony assault charge for allegedly punching a U.S. Customs officer at the Peace Bridge last Thursday was not prompted by the same inner turmoil that led him to kill Brian Smith in 1995. "It's got nothing to do with hearing voices in my head or nothing," Mr. Arenburg said yesterday, as he reached a hand to his grey, dishevelled hair. He did not wear handcuffs. U.S. authorities have charged the heavyset former Atlantic fisherman with assaulting a federal officer, which carries a maximum sentence of 20 years. If, as Mr. Arenburg said, he wasn't hearing the same voices that prompted him to kill the Ottawa sportscaster, then Mr. Smith's widow, Alana Kainz says "he's well enough to take whatever comes his way." Reached last night, Ms. Kainz stressed her compassion for the mentally ill, but recalled key actions of her late husband's killer that have always left her questioning his mental illness, namely that he ran from the crime scene and turned himself in to police. "If this time it wasn't about voices, then he should be dealt with in the criminal system. It will be interesting to see how he pleads. And if he gets bail I don't want him just walking free again with no restrictions," Ms. Kainz said. "The system failed him in Canada. Maybe the system in the U.S. won't. Maybe some tough love. I have to have some faith in some system somewhere." Ms. Kainz has always feared her husband's killer would attack someone again, especially since he was released from a mental hospital last year without restrictions. Mr. Arenburg also attempted to cross the Peace Bridge on Nov. 5, according to a criminal complaint filed last week. He was turned back when American border guards discovered a controlled substance conviction from Bridgewater, N.S. during a background check. They safely patted him down and said a valid criminal waiver was required to enter the United States. When Mr. Arenburg returned last Thursday on a bus he didn't have the document, according to the complaint. Jason Hart, a Customs officer who recognized Mr. Arenburg from his previous attempt to cross the border, was conducting secondary inspections in the bus terminal. Based on that information, another officer began to pat him down. That's when Mr. Arenburg closed his hand and struck Mr. Hart in the face, the complaint said, leaving the officer with several lacerations on his inside upper lip. Asked yesterday to describe the incident, Mr. Arenburg said: "It's none of your business." He was arraigned last Friday in federal court and remains in custody until a bail hearing this Friday. The U.S. Attorney's office has already filed a detention motion, citing flight risk and the gravity of the charges, said spokeswoman Peggy McFarland. Mr. Arenburg shot and killed Mr. Smith, a former NHL player who jumped to a successful television career, outside the station's Merivale Road studios on Aug. 1, 1995. He gunned Mr. Smith down, he later said, because he believed the station was broadcasting messages into his head. Diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic, Mr. Arenburg was found not criminally responsible for the killing in 1997. He was placed in the care of a Penetanguishene mental health centre, and received a full discharge in November 2006 -- meaning he was free to live as he pleased. Yesterday Mr. Arenburg said he was on his way to Buffalo to do some Christmas shopping. He wore jail-issue orange pants and an orange T-shirt and sat on the opposite side of the room as the dozen or so other inmates who received visitors. Although no prison officials were available to speak, Mr. Arenburg appears to be living among the Buffalo jail's general population. Unlike a handful of inmates who greeted visitors from behind a think Plexiglas partition, Mr. Arenburg was among those with only a table between them and their interlocutors. He said jail was "all right." Visitors are subjected to a drug-sniffing dog and told to take off all jewelry and their belts before being led into the facility through two mechanized doors. During the visit, both parties must place their hands flat on the table in front of them. Visitors are, however, allowed a short kiss goodbye, a privilege Mr. Arenburg had no intention of using yesterday when he cut short his conversation with the Citizen after only several minutes. "Guard!" he yelled. Mr. Arenburg's arrest means the Ontario Review Board needs to account for his release after nine years of mental health supervision, said Bob Runciman, the Progressive Conservative leader in the provincial legislature. The former solicitor general and public safety minister has criticized the board for past release decisions and thinks a conditional discharge should have remained in place. Opposition MPPs may raise the issue at Queen's Park as more details emerge, he said. Especially concerning to Mr. Runciman were reports from the board quoting a 24-per-cent chance that Mr. Arenburg, diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, would re-offend. "I don't think that's minor," said the Leeds-Grenville MPP. "I'm baffled by how they can reach that kind of conclusion." The 24-per-cent figure was likely an actuarial risk appraisal that predicts the recidivism rate for someone in similar circumstances released from supervision, said Joe Wright, the Ontario Review Board's legal counsel, who added the number is often higher. The board assumes jurisdiction for persons found not criminally responsible by the justice system. A five-member panel -- two legal professionals, two psychiatrists and/or psychologists, and a member of the public -- is required to re-examine cases on a yearly basis. "Where the board can't positively conclude that the person is a significant threat to the safety of the public, the accused person is entitled to an absolute discharge," Mr. Wright said yesterday from Toronto. In issuing the absolute discharge last fall, they argued Mr. Arenburg had taken his medication faithfully for nine years, hadn't displayed any aggression or psychotic episodes, and planned to retain a doctor in Barrie, where he lived with his brother. "The evidence is that he has solid, credible, and genuine insight into his illness and into the fact that he will require medication the rest of his life," said the panel's report, released in January. The Crown opposed his unconditional release, preferring he remain under hospital supervision and the review board's jurisdiction. But there was no legal basis for an official appeal, said Brendan Crawley, a spokesman for the Ministry of the Attorney General. If Mr. Arenburg is once again experiencing psychotic episodes, he faces considerable hardship should he be sentenced to a lengthy term in a U.S. prison. More than 300,000 mentally ill people are held in U.S. prisons, often because there is nowhere else for them to go, says a report prepared for Human Rights Watch, an independent, nongovernmental organization dedicated to protecting the human rights of people around the world. In the report, Dr. Terry Kupers identified many of the problems facing the mentally ill in U.S prisons : "For mentally disordered prisoners, danger lurks everywhere. They tend to have great difficulty coping with the prison code -- either they are intimidated by staff into snitching or they are manipulated by other prisoners into doing things that get them into deep trouble ? male and female mentally disordered prisoners are disproportionately represented among the victims of rape ? Many voluntarily isolate themselves in their cells in order to avoid trouble. Prisoners who are clearly psychotic and chronically disturbed are called "dings" and "bugs" by other prisoners, and victimized. [Their] anti-psychotic medications slow their reaction times, which makes them more vulnerable to "blind-siding" an attack from the side or from behind by another prisoner." The Erie County Holding Center houses many seriously mentally ill inmates. One jail in Los Angeles has become a national symbol of the crisis faced by mentally ill patients in U.S. prisons. Twin Towers jail in central Los Angeles, which Los Angeles county sheriff's department calls the biggest known jail in the world, has about 2,000 mentally ill prisoners. They are recognizable by yellow shirts and the letter M on their name tags. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Help Arenburg, help ourselves The Ottawa Citizen Published: Wednesday, December 05, 2007 Jeffrey Arenburg deserves his day in court to answer allegations that he punched a U.S. official in the mouth when he tried to cross the border on the weekend. But anyone who has followed his case must have thought, upon hearing the charge: "Oh, no." Mr. Arenburg has been free for just more than a year, having spent 12 years in custody, mostly being treated for paranoid schizophrenia. On Aug. 1, 1995, believing CTV's Ottawa affiliate was beaming his thoughts to the world and voices into his head, he used a .22-calibre rifle to shoot sportscaster Brian Smith in the station's parking lot. It wasn't Mr. Arenburg's only act of violence, or his only serious delusion. He'd stalked people at other TV and radio stations and threatened politicians. He had previous convictions on his record, he'd abused drugs and alcohol, he'd been in and out of mental hospitals. Well before Mr. Arenburg got to Mr. Smith, he was clearly a dangerous man. But not a man responsible for his actions, a court decided, on expert advice. Mr. Arenburg's disconnection from reality was so profound that he couldn't stand trial. Instead, he spent 10 years under doctors' care and supervision. They found his progress so tremendous that they recommended to a review board that he be released unconditionally in November 2006. Mr. Arenburg's schizophrenia was under control, he was taking his medication and staying off illicit drugs. He understood what he'd done to Mr. Smith, why he'd done it, and how to avoid ever doing anything like it again, the doctors believed. And yet one test found there was a one-in-four chance Mr. Arenburg would reoffend in some way; doctors classed him in the category of patients third-least likely to reoffend, on a scale of 10. His progress was tremendous, but not perfect. There are no guarantees with mental illness. That's alarming when people with dangerous mental illnesses are handled by the justice system. Mr. Arenburg was supposed to be held until he was no longer dangerous -- but that moment would, in a sense, never come. It's all probabilities and likelihoods, none of the certainties the rest of us want. Yet when the doctors apply their best judgment and find a person such as Mr. Arenburg is not a threat to himself or others, the mere possibility he could be can be no reason to keep him in an institution. What could we do? We let him out. Perhaps we failed ourselves, the border guard, and Mr. Arenburg himself by doing so. Or perhaps the doctors were right, but this time Mr. Arenburg did something violent that wasn't a result of mental illness. After he killed Brian Smith, Mr. Arenburg got attention nobody had paid him before. There are doubtless many other Jeffrey Arenburgs who have not committed spectacular public crimes, people who need more care than they're getting. There are few votes in treating people with mental illnesses that lead them to antisocial, hostile acts, but how we do so says much about us as a civilized society. If we failed Mr. Arenburg this time, we must do better for all our sakes. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Smith's killer off meds before alleged assault, U.S lawyer says Lee Greenberg, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, December 08, 2007 BUFFALO, New York - Jeffrey Arenburg was not taking his anti-psychotic medication when he allegedly punched a U.S. boarder guard in the mouth, a federal attorney said yesterday as he argued against the release of the schizophrenic man with a history of violence. Assistant U.S. Attorney Aaron Mango told a federal judge that Mr. Arenburg, who gunned down popular Ottawa sportscaster Brian Smith in 1995, indicated he was off anti-psychotic medication when he attempted to cross the border into Buffalo on Nov. 29. That attempt at crossing, his second that month, ended in a scuffle in which he is alleged to have punched a border guard in the mouth. Mr. Arenburg now faces assault charges stemming from that incident. During his interrogation by border guards, Mr. Arenburg "told the (border) officers he was on cholesterol medication, stool softener and muscle relaxants," Mr. Mango told court yesterday -- but not the anti-psychotics his psychiatrists deemed "paramount" to his sanity. Mr. Mango described Mr. Arenburg as a loner who has had problems both getting a job and making friends since he was granted an unconditional release from psychiatric supervision last November. Mr. Mango said the one-time fisherman has only has two remaining family connections -- his brother and his daughter. He also ran through a litany of violent eruptions by Mr. Arenburg, most of them surrounding what he believed were messages broadcast either from or into his head. "His past conduct is horrendous," Mr. Mango said. "He's killed somebody, your honour." Mr. Arenburg, clenched his mouth and bowed his head as he listened to the case against him, which included details of his 1995 killing of Ottawa sportscaster Brian Smith, whom he shot in a television parking lot in a deluded attempt to silence his inner voices. In the end, Judge H. Kenneth Schroeder ordered Mr. Arenburg be sent for a full psychiatric evaluation at a U.S. facility -- which is likely to be in North Carolina -- denying the 50-year-old killer a chance to return to his native country. Judge Schroeder noted Mr. Arenburg's "propensity for violence" and said he was unable to guarantee his return to New York State to face charges. Mr. Arenburg, 50, walked with a pronounced limp as he was escorted into court by two U.S. marshals. Shackled, he wore a red fleece sweatshirt with no t-shirt and a pair of Levi's jeans. He could not manage to stand when the judge entered court and needed help from a marshal to leave the proceeding. Within seconds of being called, Mr. Arenburg made a declaration that surprised even his lawyer. "Excuse me, your honour" he said, before being quickly interrupted by Judge Schroeder, who warned Mr. Arenburg that he risked prejudicing his trial by speaking. "I'm going to give you a chance to speak," he said. Mr. Arenburg subsequently told court he wished to fire his lawyer, David Jay. The request was denied by Judge Schraeder, who called Mr. Jay a "highly-skilled attorney" and added defendants don't have the right to "pick and choose" court-appointed attorneys. "I would like to request, uh, a date for disclosure. Yeah, discovery. That's what I mean." Mr. Arenburg subsequently said in a halting voice. Judge Schroeder explained to Mr. Arenburg he would see the evidence against him. "The government has made a motion to have you detained. Do you understand?" "Yes, I do," Mr. Arenburg replied. After the hour-long proceeding, Mr. Arenburg's lawyer said he was caught off guard by the request. Mr. Jay said he had "no idea" why it was made. He also reiterated his argument that Mr. Arenburg should not be in a U.S. jail over "a busted lip." "I can't imagine why he needs to be incarcerated at this point," he said outside court. "This is such a minor incident. There's no serious physical injury whatsoever." Mr. Arenburg, a paranoid schizophrenic, was found not criminally responsible for the 1995 killing of Brian Smith. He was given an unconditional release in November 2006 after spending more than 10 years in treatment for his psychiatric condition. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Knife-attack accused delusional, court told Thought ex-workmates were tracking him and 'out to kill him,' psychiatrist testifies Paula McCooey, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Saturday, December 15, 2007 Two psychiatrists who testified in court regarding a man accused of slitting his ex-girlfriend's throat believe he suffers from paranoid delusions that affected his ability to decipher reality. Dr. Stephen Hucker and Dr. Brad Booth took the stand yesterday in a hearing to determine whether John Dennis, 44, should be found not criminally responsible for his actions on Karen Parker, who was left for dead along a Britannia Park bike path last year. Mr. Dennis, 44, is charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and forcible confinement. He was denied bail on Sept. 25, 2006, one week after the incident. Sitting in the prisoner's docket in a blue jacket, with short balding salt and pepper hair, Mr. Dennis listened to the Crown's witness Dr. Hucker describe how the accused suffers "a delusional disorder of a persecution type," how he had delusions about people trying to kill him and that, somehow, Ms. Parker was involved. "He admitted to trying to kill her," said Dr. Hucker, adding he justified it because he wanted to save himself from persecution. Dr. Hucker also addressed the issue of malingering -- when an individual falsifies all symptoms in order to get out of charges. However, he said, in this case, the "symptoms pre-dated the actions." He said friends and family described Mr. Dennis as "paranoid" and had been concerned about his mental state long before Ms. Parker was attacked. When Mr. Dennis's defence lawyer Lawrence Greenspon asked if there was a rational motive for this behavior, Dr. Hucker said Ms. Parker "had not done a thing to harm Mr. Dennis." Dr. Hucker explained how they had an "open relationship" while they dated. "So jealousy did not seem to be a motive," he said. Dr. Hucker's findings were based on reports Dr. Booth wrote after hours of interviews and testing with the accused. Dr. Booth described how Mr. Dennis told him he had worked at Lee Valley Tools and believed his co-workers were "following him and trying to get him to quit his job" and "bullied him for making minor mistakes." When he was fired in October 2005, he thought his ex-colleagues were tracking him and "out to kill him." He said on several occasions he felt cars were trying to run him down while he was riding his bike and that the drivers were hired by the people at Lee Valley. When he happened to run into Karen Parker at a bank one week later, he came to believe she too was "part of the conspiracy and giving information to the individual trying to kill him." Dr. Booth said the only way patients who suffer with paranoid delusion can get better is to accept treatment with anti-psychotic medication. He said, on average, about 50 per cent of people who suffer with this mental illness recover. However, he said for those who do not accept treatment, there is normally no hope for improvement. Dr. Booth said, so far, Mr. Dennis has not accepted the medication. According to both defence and Crown, the victim, Ms. Parker, who was present during yesterday's hearing, has recovered from her physical injuries. The agreed statement of facts show the two met at a gym in 2003 and then had no contact until around September 2005. They dated regularly until February 2006, when they broke up. They had no contact until August 2006, when they started spending time together. Dr. Booth said Mr. Dennis spoke to his brother Patrick Dennis the night before the attack. He testified the accused had called his brother at home and had "expressed fears people were following him." Around 2 a.m., he called Ms. Parker and told her he could not sleep. She then came over to his Woodridge Crescent apartment around 8 p.m. with a bottle of wine. The next thing she remembers is waking up in the hospital several days later after she underwent surgery. Her throat had been slit from ear to ear, cutting her voice box and major neck muscles. She also sustained other stab wounds. She was awakened from a medically-induced coma on Sept. 20, 2006. Hours later, police arrested Mr. Dennis at his Woodridge Crescent apartment where officers executed a search warrant. The security camera in the lobby of Mr. Dennis's apartment building shows Ms. Parker and Mr. Dennis leaving the building together at 12:36 a.m. on Sept. 18, 2006. Residents saw them walk to Ms. Parker's car. Minutes later, they heard a woman screaming "and the sound of someone being hit." Ms. Parker was discovered by an off-duty police officer who was riding his bicycle on the bike path near Britannia Beach. She was lying in a fetal position on the grass, covered in blood with "a chunk of skin hanging from her chin." Closing submissions will be made next Thursday. © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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Simon

It is my duty to inform the world that my marriage officially ended in divorce in court, without the blessing of the kids or of myself. I was one of the saddest days of my life.

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Mentally ill man not responsible for near-fatal attack Ex-girlfriend left for dead on bike path with throat slit Paula McCooey, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Friday, December 21, 2007 A man who slit his ex-girlfriend's throat was declared not criminally responsible for his actions yesterday because of his longstanding mental illness. John Dennis, 44, had been charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and forcible confinement in connection with the Sept. 26 attack on Karen Parker last year. Ms. Parker was left for dead along a Britannia Park bike path, but survived her injuries. "I hope you are able to benefit from the psychiatric treatment you are going to be offered," Justice Charles Hackland told Mr. Dennis yesterday. During a court hearing last Friday, two psychiatrists testified that Mr. Dennis, 44, suffers from paranoid delusions that affect his ability to decipher reality. Dr. Stephen Hucker said Mr. Dennis suffers "a delusional disorder of a persecutory type." The man had delusions about people trying to kill him, Dr. Hucker said, and somehow, Ms. Parker was involved. The Crown attorney in the case invited the judge to accept defence lawyer Lawrence Greenspon's application that his client be found not criminally responsible for the attack. Assistant Crown attorney Meaghan Cunningham said it was clear that Mr. Dennis's delusions "prevented" him from rationally considering whether it was morally wrong to kill Ms. Parker. It was also established, Ms. Cunningham conceded, that Mr. Dennis had suffered from mental illness long before his attack on Ms. Parker. After the judge rendered his decision, Mr. Dennis's parents said, "We're glad it's over." They approached Ms. Parker and her mother, Jean, and exchanged hugs. Outside court, Ms. Parker, the scar still prominent on her neck, said she will now take time to "grieve." She admitted to being surprised at her own inability to recognize the signs of Mr. Dennis's mental illness. Ms. Parker said she now "puts into question" her ability to judge other people. "What was wrong with my judgment?" said the petite brunette. "You keep saying, 'What was wrong with me?'" Defendants who have been found not criminally responsible will not be discharged until they are deemed no longer a risk to public safety. The amount of security required for Mr. Dennis will be determined by the Ontario Review Board. Mr. Dennis, who was remanded back into custody at the Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre, will appear before the board within 45 days for a hearing, at which victim impact statements from Ms. Parker and her mother will be submitted. The board will determine where Mr. Dennis is placed and will assess his progress on a yearly basis. Ms. Parker's mother shuddered at the idea that Mr. Dennis will one day be released into the community. "He may be cured (eventually) but we don't want to see him on the streets." © The Ottawa Citizen 2007

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CBC Sunday Report ran a feature interview with Margaret Trudeau.

Although the illness is different (bipolar disorder versus delusional disorder), there are remarkable similarities with my ex-wife's situation. The wife simply leaves the family, causing chaos. The husband suffers from sadness and loneliness. We both had wonderful 3 kids. My ex-wife has isolated herself just as Margaret Trudeau did, and both women have denied suffering from mental illness due to stigma.

The events that have happened to Margaret Trudeau and will likely happen to my ex-wife are that she will deteriorate to the point where she requires medical attention, that she will be medicated, and that she will eventually realise how much devastation her mental illness has caused the people around her.

In the mean time, the divorce became final 2007-12-21, i.e., I will have to pay my ex-wife lots of money because I am keeping the house. This is certainly one of the saddest moments of my life. I became very depressed, especially because my kids are not with me during the Holiday Season.

Margaret Trudeau For years, Margaret Trudeau captured the attention of the nation as the famous, beautiful and sometimes unpredictable wife of Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. Today she's trying to get your attention again - this time as a deliberate effort to explain some of her past, and shed light on the illness that's plagued her entire life. Trudeau was in Toronto for a speaking engagement held by The Reena Foundation, a group that supports adults with developmental challenges - visit The Reena Foundation website at http://www.reena.org Margaret Trudeau's bio: http://www.speakers.ca/trudeau_margaret.aspx

MARGARET TRUDEAU Celebrated Canadian & Mental Health Advocate Margaret Trudeau became the youngest Prime Minister's wife in Canadian history, when she married Pierre Elliot Trudeau at the age of 22. She has led a rich and interesting life, by raising five children and travelling the country and the world extensively. Margaret has authored two books, Beyond Reason, and Consequences. For all her adult life, Margaret Trudeau has suffered from the debilitating effects of her bipolar condition. Now, after seeking medical treatment that has given her life balance and happiness, she advocates strongly on mental health issues, helping people overcome the stigma of mental illness that often prevents sufferers from getting help. She is working with The Royal Ottawa Hospital to raise funds for their new hospital and raise public awareness of mental health issues. She is Honorary President of Watercan, a Canadian NGO that helps the poorest citizens of the world to access safe, clean water. She has travelled three times to Africa with Watercan and is very knowledgeable on water issues and the impending global water crisis. She is an environmental activist. Margaret has wonderful stories to tell and a strong, clear message on the importance of finding balance of mind, body and spirit. She also tells good jokes.

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Simon